Monthly Archives: August 2012

No Invites???

For my birthday, I was invited to a private dinner.

I was told strictly that I could not invite anyone.

I turned 32 this year.

It was fun with a small group of tight-knit friends at Truluck’s seafood.

We went mainly because it was Restaurant week in Dallas.



When we got home, one of my friends got picked up by her sister who we all knew.

Her sister, said, “Happy Birthday Anh Thao!!! Thanks for the invite.”

I said, “It was a private dinner! I couldn’t even bring my own date.”

The event organizer said, “He doesn’t even have anyone to bring as a date. Stop lying fool.”

I said, “Whatever. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s the event organizer.”



After they all left, I had a sudden epiphany.

One of those one-liners you come up as the perfect comeback, but only that you come up with way to late.

The moment has already passed.

I was thinking inside my head that I should’ve said, “I didn’t even know I was invited until I got invited!”

It’s a statement to prove my innocence that I had no part in the “no invites” that happened during my party.



Of course after thinking about it, I felt like it made no sense.

Or rather it’s one of those obvious statements that is unnecessary to bring up.

Of course, I didn’t know I was invited until I got invited.

Who knows beforehand if you are invited to an event?

If you already know you are invited, then why would they go through the trouble of inviting you a second time?



It’s like saying, “I didn’t start gaining weight, until I started overeating.”

Yeh, that’s typically how people gain weight, by overeating.

Or, “I always lose my cool, when I’m around annoying people.”

Annoying people usually possess the ability to make other people lose their cool.

It’s what makes them so annoying.



Yeh, now that I think about it, it’s probably a good reason I didn’t come up with it at that moment.

It’s one of those things that when you think about it, it kind of makes you feel dumber.

Is that even possible?

Losing the knowledge you already possess.

Haha, I’m going to start a De-Evolution of the human mind by influencing everyone me to be more stupid … :).

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Runaway With You, John

I have a tendency to say the most inappropriate things in the most inappropriate context.

My intentions are always good, pure, and appropriate in my mind.

Always.

Yet, when it leaves my mouth, somehow it becomes misconstrued.

Take for example, “I wish John was here. Sometimes I wished I could just runaway with him.”



Of course, if you just heard this I can picture your reaction as being:

“Are you gay? Why do you want to runaway with John?”

“And what exactly are you two running away from? The pressures of a straight community?”

Then, I could tell you that John is actually a little kid that’s only 7 years old …



Then you would say:

“Are you planning a kidnap? Should I report the authorities? This sounds so wrong on so many levels.”

“Who is John’s parents? I need to warn them of you.”

Then, I could tell you that John’s mom was in the car with me. She is my friend. And no I did not kidnap her.

(I can remember John’s mom reaction being very silent. Perhaps she was contemplating on whether to call the authorities or not.)



I do remember my cousin Tram Anh voicing her thoughts though:

“Did you just say you want to run away with John?”

Yes I did.

“Yeh, cuz I could’ve sworn you just said … WHAT?!? Why would you say something like that. He’s a little kid.”

Of course, that’s when I realized what I just said doesn’t sound that great to the public’s ears.



This is what was going through my head before I said “I wish John was here …”:

“Oh my gosh, TA and John’s mom are such good friends and have so many things to talk about. Sometimes, I feel like a third wheel.”

“I wonder why John wasn’t invited this time. Last time when he was here, I didn’t mind that TA and John’s mom had a million things to talk about.”

“I was too busy running around with John, playing tag and hide-n-seek. I wish John was here. I should tell them how I feel …”

And of course, you know the rest of the story.



Perhaps this is the reason why guys never ever share their feelings and inner thoughts.

Because it always comes out the wrong way.

In my head, I pictured running around and playing with the little guy.

Outside of my head, I sound like I wanted to kidnap the kid and eventually end up on the 9 o’clock news.

Not cool. Not cool at all.

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Girlfriend Material Vs Boyfriend Material

I was hanging around with some of my friends and one of them said, “Hey, Anh Thao you would make a great girlfriend.”

I was taken aback.

Did she just said what I think she said? Maybe she meant a great boyfriend. I could definitely feel good about that.

I wanted to make sure she meant to say girlfriend, so I clarify, “Did you just say I would make a great girlfriend?”

She responds, “Yes. Like for slumber parties. You’re very neutral. You blend in well.”

I definitely regret getting clarification, because without a doubt she meant it.

I guess the positive side to this is, I wouldn’t mind attending a slumber party where everyone is wearing panties. I would bring my tighty whitey’s.



Her comment really got me thinking and in some ways it makes sense.

First of all, people say I’m super feminine for a guy and for the longest time I didn’t even notice it about myself. But now I admit that I am.

I enjoy pampering myself with bubble baths, massages, and trips to kingspa. I enjoy shopping and dressing myself up. I spend way too much time checking myself in the mirror.

Second of all, I notice I love the company of ladies over guys any day.

It’s not because I find girls cute and want to be surrounded by hot, sexy ladies all the time.

I find that when you talk with a girl one-on-one, they are more likely to open up to you. And I’m addicted to that.

Its really interesting because with a good amount of my “girl” friends, I know them two different ways. I know them based on a group setting and a one-on-one setting.

It’s almost like know two different people. I know that I act different in group settings as opposed to one-on-one and so do they. Some of my “girl” friends, I don’t even talk to them in a group setting. We only do one-on-ones and treat each other like acquaintances in group settings.

I also notice that with certain people, I am more comfortable revealing certain aspects of myself that I wouldn’t with someone else.

All this translate to a myriad of friendships, sometimes with the same person.



Another thing I notice about guys is I tend to bond with them as long as we are doing something.

Guys don’t sit down and talk about emotions, feelings, worries, or things you hide deep inside of you. Guys sit down and talk about sports, job, money, cars, … anything except what’s deep inside.

Guys enjoy companionship, but only when it directed toward a goal. For instance, I notice I connect really well with guys when we are playing volleyball. Whether we win or lose, the act of working together through wins or losses, creates a relationship that can’t be replicated anywhere else.

Girls on the other hand, don’t need to be doing anything. Girls just need to know that you will listen and that you won’t share their secrets with the whole world. If you can do those two things, most girls will open up to you.



Once girls open up to you, there’s almost no boundaries to what they will share. Insecurities, worries, anger, jealousy, frustration, … anything that goes inside a woman’s intellect and emotions.

Talking to girls, I feel like I’m allowed into a very dark and deep place inside their soul.

It feels good to be trusted on that level and it doesn’t happen every time you sit down and talk with them.

I have sat next girls who have broke down crying talking about their boyfriends or ex-boyfriends. Sometimes I don’t even know what to say, but I’ve learned that saying nothing is usually the best response.

They mainly need someone there to listen.



I guess my friend knew what she was talking about when she said I would make a great girlfriend. I just never heard anyone say that to me, so I was surprised.

First admitting that I’m feminine and now that I’m great girlfriend material … what’s next … sex change?

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Right Vs Wrong

Everybody who is anybody believes that they are right.

And in order for them to be right, somebody has to be wrong.

It’s a given. Two sides of every coin.

Most of us can’t argue w/ facts, so anyone who knows their facts is on pretty solid ground.

But facts can change too.

People once believed the world is flat. Well it’s not flat, it’s round.
People once believed that atoms are solid. Atoms are mostly made out of empty space.
People once believed that space travel is impossible. Now space travel is very possible.

Our world is always changing. What we hold true and to be non-debatable fact one day has the potential to be something different another day.

That is life.

So what’s the point of trying so hard to be right?



Right/Wrong thinking encourages everyone to be close minded.

“I’m right, you’re wrong. No more discussion.”

“There is only one way to do this and only I have the key.”

“You have to choose between yes/no. There is no in between.”

To be right all the time takes enormous energy and your constantly under pressure. You can’t relax or you might falter and make a mistake.

What’s so wrong with being wrong from time to time?

It proves that you are human.

Being right all the times means you are perfect.

Perfection is no fun, when its all the time.



Sometimes people are so stuck on being right that it ruins their relationship.

People are so obsessed on being so right, that they would rather lose out on a relationship.

“I don’t care if you want to leave me. You know that I’m right on this argument.”

To them being right is more important than maintaining the relationship.



Religions are famous for Right/Wrong thinking.

“I’m right. You guys are wrong.”

“Do what I say and you will prosper and go to heaven. Don’t do what I say and you will suffer and go to hell.”

“I know what I’m talking about. Everyone else doesn’t.”

In a way, religions have done a better job at alienating others then they have in including people.

People have been persecuted based on religious beliefs. Wars have been justified because of religion. Families have been separated because of religious beliefs.

I’m not saying religion is bad.

All I’m saying when you look back at the history of religion, you can’t help but wonder “Where is the love?”



What people don’t realize is that Right/Wrong thinking is responsible crimes, wars, and injustice in the world.

The Vietnamese Communists believed that they are right and that everyone is wrong. They are not open to the fact that perhaps communism isn’t good for the whole country. They won’t consider what the majority want, but only what the select few are interested in. They are closed off and nothing is up for debate.

Hitler firmly believed that he was right and everyone was wrong. He persecuted all Jews. Took over neighboring nations. Established concentration camps that de-humanized men, women, girls, and boys. It took the whole world to intervene with physical force to set Hitler in his place.

Evil happens when people always think they are right and no one every challenges them. Discussion is closed. There is only one way. Many have to suffer in order for a few to prosper.



Good happens when people are humble enough to admit that they may be wrong and they are constantly being challenged by others. Discussions are open. There can be many ways to do it and you have the option to chose the best one. Everybody works hard, but everyone also benefits.

Since right/wrong can change from moment to moment, why put so much time, energy, and effort in who is right/wrong.

If I admit that I was wrong for stealing, I allow change to happen. I admit my fault and welcome discussion on how we all can contribute to my success.

If I keep on coming up w/ excuses on why its ok to steal. Sooner or later my past catches up to me. I get into deep trouble that may be impossible to right.

Its ok to be right. Its also ok to be wrong.

Let’s just not get too obsessed about it that we become closed to what the world is trying to tell us.

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Movie Reflections: Ice Age “My Dream”

I was watching the movie “Ice Age” today at my friend’s house.

It was towards the end of the movie. Manny (wholly mammoth) was being surrounded by Sabertooth tigers trying to corner him. The leader of the pack jumped and went for the killing strike, but Diego (another sabertooth tiger) jumped and sacrificed his body to protect Manny.

Manny uses this opportunity to fight back all the threats and secures peace for him and his friends.

Manny see’s Diego lying on the ground and it looks like he’s about to die.

Manny says, “You didn’t have to do that …”

Diego responds, “Thats what you do in a herd, you look after each other.”



I didn’t know why, but that scene struck a chord with me.

It was as if, I’ve been waiting for a long time to hear something like that.

And now, after thinking about it for a couple hours, I realize why.

I want to be like Diego.

Not in the sense, that he risks his life for others (if only I could be that brave).

No, what I mean is look at his herd. His herd consists of a sloth, a wholly mammoth, a sabertooth tiger, and a baby human.

That is typically the food chain right there.

Human hunts wholly mammoth for fur & meat. Tiger hunts wholly mammoth and sloths for meat. The are natural enemies.

And here they are, leaving all their differences behind, and in a sense becoming a family.



When I look into the world, I see nothing about groups. Groups that are separated by differences. Differences which include age, race, occupation, alumni’s, social, and so many more.

For me, the most important difference is religion. There is so many and yet somehow there are always issues between them.

Wars are started because of religious differences. People are killed because of religious differences. It is natural to plant bombs on yourself and kill others in the name of your religion.

I was raised a Catholic and therefore I was taught that we are right and that mostly everyone else is wrong. But isn’t that what every other religion teaches too? That they are right, and everyone else (including us Catholics) are wrong?

I just find it ironic.



My goal here isn’t to prove that anyone is right or that anyone is wrong.

My goal here is to do what Diego did, find a reason to co-exist and become a herd of animals that naturally can’t co-exist.

In a world full of religious differences, I’m set on finding a reason that we can all co-exist and become a family.

A family full of love, acceptance, support, non-judgment, and non-resistance.

That is my dream.

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Let Them Wait

We’re all running around w/ our cellphones tied to our hands.

Replying, asking q’s, answering q’s … busy trying to be busy.

Sometimes, its ok to let your phone down for a moment.

Let them wait … you actually have more important things to tend to … like enjoying the scenery, enjoying the company of friends who are with you, or reading your favorite book.

Our minds are anywhere and everywhere. The one place where it should be, it rarely gives enough attention to it.

And that place is the present.

(From Tuesday’s w/ Morrie)

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