Monthly Archives: May 2013

FB Status Update: May Birthdays

Me and mom re-counting all the people who have May birthdays in our family.

Mom: We have your Dad’s, then grandpa’s, and then your nephew Cu Minh’s.

(Btw, my nephew’s name is Oliver Minh. The “Cu” that precedes his name means penis. For some reason, Vietnamese people think it’s cute to append “Cu” before babies’ & toddler’s actual names. Similar to how American people call little girls princesses and little boys munchkins, except those nicknames don’t mean penis.)

Mom: Oh! I almost forgot Linh’s lil’ boy …
Me: Cu Nam! (Penis Nam!)
Mom: No, that’s the older one. I’m talking about the new one.
Me: Cu Moi! (New Penis!)
Mom: Nooooo … that’s not it …

Then my mom goes quiet for a moment and then busts out laughing out loud. And when I figured out that my mom was laughing at “Cu Moi”, I chimed in a laughed with her.

Apparently, my mom think it’s hilarious to call my nephew “Cu Moi” (New Penis).

Maybe because it’s true. Of all the guys who have birthday’s in May, my nephew’s penis is the newest.

Or maybe an image of a “Cu Moi” popped up in her head and she found the imagery too repulsive or embarrassing that her only reaction was to laugh it off.

We will never know.

Well, at least now I know where I get my crude humor from!

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FB Status Update: Professional Jealousy

Don’t know if anyone else out there has any type of attachment to their clients, but I sure do.

What I mean is, let’s say I do a shoot for a couple last year. Well this year I find out that they did a shoot through another photographer.

My first reaction is always, “WTF! What happened to us? I thought I was yours and you were mine? Did those 3 hours that we spent in the Dallas Aboretum mean nothing to you?”

I mean the bond between a photographer and the client should be sacred. If anything it should be just as special as a marriage.

You did pay me to be with you. I didn’t come cheap. And you should continue paying me even when I’m old, ugly, and undesirable. That’s what it means to be faithful.

What did I do to make you leave me for someone else?

Is it because I wasn’t delivering the goods?

What does he/she have that I don’t have?

(I refuse to acknowledge or mention the other person who just came and stole you away from me.)

I wonder if anyone else feels this way.

Do make-up artist get jealous when their clients leave them for another make-up artist?

Is that called professional cheating?

There should be some kind a pre-nuptial agreement, that says that the client has to like us even when they don’t.

That would solve all the problems in this world.

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FB Status Update: Half Your Age


Went to the hospital with my brother Nghia and one of the nurses asked the following:

Nurse: “Are you two brothers?”
Me: “Yes we are. Why do you ask?”
Nurse: “You two look like you’re the same age.”
Me: “We do?”
Nurse: “Yep.”

She walked us into his room and left.

Then I thought to myself:

“Not sure if she was speaking the truth or just went out of her way to compliment me.”
“No wonder women lie about their age, it feels good to be young when you’re actually really old.”
“If I look half my age, does that mean I should start dating girls half my age?”

I’m approaching 33 years old and my brother Nghia is 17 years old.

Stay young Nghia.

Like your older brother Thao.

But don’t date girls half your age.

They’re still in elementary.

And that would be wrong.

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Movie Review: The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey

***Spoiler Alert***

Synopsis:

Bilbo Baggins is recruited into a clan of dwarves to go take back the homeland of the dwarves.

Bilbo Baggins is reluctant at first because he is somewhat comfortable in his home.  Gandalf insists on Bilbo Baggins going, while the head of the dwarves clan Thorin doubts that a Hobbit like Bilbo Baggins could be of any use on the journey.

After everyone leaves, Bilbo changes his mind and chases after the clan.

The group is tested by huge trolls who threaten to eat them all.

Then they are chased by goblins who have history with the dwarves.  Dwarves and Goblins were at war with each other over the Dwarves’ homeland.

They are rescued by the Elves, but Thorin (head of the dwarves) resent the Elves because they stood by and didn’t help the Dwarves when they were being attacked by the Dragon.

The dwarves leave the elves and are captured by cave-dwelling goblins.  Bilbo is separated from the group and meets the Gollum for the first time.  This is where he takes the “ring” from Gollum.

Bilbo rejoins the group, but only to be ambushed by Land Goblins.  Bilbo proves his worth by standing up for Thorin while he was helpless.

They escape and this is the moment when Bilbo is finally accepted into the clan of dwarves as one of their own.

Final Thoughts:

This is a fantasy adventure film, full of humor, companionship, and lore.

There is always a battle or action waiting at the next corner.

The action scenes are reminiscent of the ones from Lord of the Rings, where battles are drawn out and can stretch from one mountain to another.

Gandalf can be a source of inspiration with his wisdom and Bilbo’s quick-witted decisions are always one step of his opponents.

Enjoyable film for anyone who’s already a big fan of the Lord of the Rings series.

Ratings:

4/5, because in my opinion, it still doesn’t measure up to the original Lord of the Rings series.

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FB Status Update: Starting A New Trend

It appears I have started a new trend.

According to this new online article I read about Bradley Cooper, Bradley is still 38 years old, single, and a former sexiest man alive, currently shacks up with his mother.  (http://wonderwall.msn.com/movies/the-shortlist-for-april-16-24526.gallery?ocid=answw11)

I don’t like to brag about these kind of things, but I have moved back to my parent’s house twice after moving out to Houston & California.

Way before Bradley Cooper did.

You know the saying, “If you love something set it free. If it comes back, its yours.”

Well, let’s just say my parents is always setting me free.

They ask me on a weekly basis, “When are you moving out again? We like to have our space back.”

I know it sounds bad, but deep down they’re just wondering if I’m really theirs.

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back, its yours.”

Two times, I called their bluff and left home.

Two times, I came back home.

Not because I ran out of my savings. Or that I couldn’t find a stable job to support myself.

I came back, because I wanted to remove any doubt of whether I’m really theirs.

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back, its yours.”

Apparently, after moving back with his mom, Bradley Cooper’s level of sexiness has risen to insurmountable levels to be deemed sexiest man alive for a full year.

Since I moved back twice, it could only mean that my level of sexiness has risen high enough to become sexiest man dead or alive.

Perhaps this is why I’m still single. There isn’t anyone alive who can handle the level of sexiness that I possess. Forever Alone Anh Thao.

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