“Money Power Issues Within Relationships”

  1. Went to grab Starbucks with my friend and he shared his thoughts on the topic of the power to control money within a relationship.He mentioned that within any relationship there is usually two polar opposites that usually work with or against each other when it comes to money.

  2. He said that he enjoys having control over money.  If it was up to him, he would control all the financial decisions within his family.  His dad is very easy going when it comes to money.  His mom exerts some control over the money within the household.  I asked him, “What’s the point of having a hand in all your family’s financial dealings?”.  He said, “I know it’s their money and they have a right to spend it anyway they want, but sometimes I wished they had talked it over with me first.  When they hold the money, I can disagree but they can still go through it.  When I have control over the money, when I disagree with their decision, I have the power to delay/stop the spending.”

  3. He said he could never be with someone who has a Type-A personality like his.  Someone who is hands on when it comes to money.  He believes that being with another Type-A personality would just cause conflict.  Both would be too convinced that their way of budgeting and spending is the right way.

  4. He said he knew a couple who were both raking in the dough.  Each wanted to do things their own way.  No one would consult the other, on how their impulse decision to buy something would affect their overall budget.  As a result, each month they barely make it by even thought they each bring in more than six-figures a year.

  5. I asked him, “How do couples determine who will be the leader in financial decisions and who will be the follower?”  He said, “Most of the time, it’s pre-determinded by who brings home the bacon.  If the husband works and the wife stays home, most of the time he exerts control over the money.  I’m sure there are circumstances where the husband will relinquish control to his wife.  But if the husband was adamant about keeping the control, it’s tough for the wife to argue because she didn’t earn the money.”

  6. He shared the following, “I know a couple.  He is a successful entrepreneur.  His wife quit working at a department store because he easily provided for all their expenses.  Once they started to live together, she would go out and buy things for their house.  More times than not, the husband would always complain about her wasting money on things that were unnecessary.  She felt powerless and put up little resistance.  She eventually made the decision to go back to work again, not because they needed the money.  She was just tired of him bickering about how she spent his money.  Now that she is working, she can spend her money anyway she wants.”

  7. I then asked him, “What kind personality do I have, type-A or type-B?”  He responded, “You’re neither, or rather you’re a lil’ of both.  On one side you do a good job of saving and planning for the future.  On the other side, you don’t really mind if someone else were in charge.  You’d just go along just as long as you trusted that person who made the financial decisions for you.  When it comes to money, not everyone is considered entirely type-A or type-B, even though there are people like that.  You and many others lie somewhere in the continuum between type-A & type-B.”

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