I was talking to my cousin TA about online dating and how unsuccessful I’ve been at it. She asked me how I approached these girls.
I told her, “Well since there’s like 50 million different profiles … I’ll chose like maybe 20-30 girls that I think are cute. Then I come up with a great one-liner that will capture their hearts. Something like, ‘Wow you are so beautiful. We should go grab coffee sometime. How does that sound? Yeah? How about this weekend? Yeah? I’m down if you’re down.’ I’ll proceed to copy and past that to every single girl, then I wait and reap the rewards of my labor.”
She then asks me how that was working out. I respond, “Well after 5 days of doing the exact same thing … I’ve gotten zero responses.” She explains to me why my method doesn’t work, “You see. Girls can sense it when you’re just copying and pasting like you do. They know you’re sending the same message to every other girl, so why should they bother wasting anytime on you when you barely put any time into them?”
“Plus, there’s like 50-100 other guys doing the exact same thing. Writing these cheesy one-liners hoping to get a response from them. Of course they’re not going to respond unless they feel that you genuinely find something interesting about them. You have to differentiate yourself from the others by doing what others aren’t doing.”
I asked her, “So what do you suggest I do?” She responds, “Instead of focusing on quantity, focus on quality. Read a couple of girls’ profile, find one or two that genuinely interests you. Perhaps the girl is a animal activists or she enjoys photography. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you think it’s cool. Now comment or approach her, talking about who she is rather than how she looks like in her profile pic.”
I consider it and tell her it’s worth the try. It’s probably better than my cut-and-pasting one-liners method, so why not.
Next day, I get all excited when I log onto my dating site. Browsing through all the different profiles, I find an interesting one with the following passage:
You cannot strike fear into a man, who has no one he loves.
You cannot persuade a man, who wants nothing.
You cannot give hope to a man, who has already given up.
You cannot argue with a man, who does not care.
You cannot defeat a man, who has nothing to lose.
So be wary of the man who is empty and alone,
For he has nothing to lose but everything to gain.
I’m thinking to myself, “Wow that’s deep. I think I will comment on this passage. It must mean something to her to start off her dating profile with this passage.”
I am definitely one who is vulnerable to people striking fear into me, who is persuadable, who is open to receiving hope, who is extremely argumentative, who is … wait a minute are you the person who is being written about in the self-summary?
(my intentions here were to find some common ground and get her to talk about the story behind this quote, if there is one)
No, a man I dated once. Good guess, though.
Sounds eventful. I wondered if I inspired any of my exes to write a whole spiel about me. Either that or you’re easily inspired.
(I figure, either the guy was really bad and made her want to post something about him in her current dating profile. Or she’s just someone who comes up with deep and thoughtful quotes from trivial and insignificant life events.)
I don’t care to relive that time in my life. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I thank God every day for the peace in my life.
I will say he introduced me to this site, which I didn’t know even existed. Quietly observing ever since. I can pick up all the subtle signs now.
(“You can pick up all these subtle signs now” … like how you concluded I’m a sociopath, after I said 2 lines to you? Aren’t we a little pre-mature in our character judgment of others?)
You implied I was a bit harsh for calling him a sociopath. I do not needlessly insult or call names. I simply call a spade a spade. Hopefully educated you a bit. I pray you never meet one. And if you happen to be one… then it would be unfortunate.
(I don’t even remember being harsh on her? But after reading the previous message, I did say something to that effect. I was simply trying to extend the conversation. Eh, can’t please everyone all the time. And here I was just warming up to her and she slips in, “And if you happen to be a sociopath, then it would be unfortunate.” I’m so glad that you keep on bringing this up, because if I didn’t know I was a sociopath before … I sure do now. I really appreciate you reminding me whenever you get the chance.)