1. I’m gay.
- My cousin TA told me this. She said, “A lot of people have been asking me if you’re gay.” I didn’t ask her who, but I assume it would have to be her friends. It could also be people in our family too. I’ve been single for about 10 years, so I can see why they are wondering. No girlfriend for such a long time, maybe he doesn’t like girls? It doesn’t help that I enjoy going to gay clubs. Plus, in my parent’s living room, there’s a picture of me wearing a dress when I was young. I have to admit, I looked very flattering in that dress.
2. I hangout with TA too much.
- This is my mom’s words. I went on a road trip to New Orleans with my cousin TA in August and when my mom found out, this is what she had to say, “Going out with TA again? Don’t you know this weekend is Marian Days in Missouri? Over 60,000 Vietnamese Catholics!!! I’m sure you can find one single Vietnamese Catholic female there!” To be frank, my mom does have a point. TA is the closest thing I have to a best friend. She’s hilarious, entertaining, and tons of fun. When you have a bestie like TA, sometimes you forget that you’re still single and supposedly miserable.
3. My mom is a cock blocker.
- My dad is referencing to what happened with my very first girlfriend. She was my first girlfriend, so I fell very hard for her. I fell so hard that my grades started slipping and I had to drop a course in college. I was a zombie in love. Even on days where I’m sick and bed-ridden, I would crawl out of my bed just to visit my girlfriend. Obviously my mom thought this obsession was unhealthy, so she advised that I take a break from dating and focus more on school. I broke up with her a couple weeks later and ever since my dad has attributed my relationship woes to my mom.
4. I’m going to be a priest.
- My ex-gf was told this. She really believed it too because I was so religious at the time. I forgot who told her this? Oh wait, I remember. It was ME. It wasn’t working out, but I didn’t have the balls to tell her that it wasn’t working out. So I told her I wanted to be a priest. “You’re not the problem, I’M the problem.” She was sad, but she was also happy that I wanted to devote my whole life to God. Now that I think about it, that was pretty immature of me. Somewhat spineless. Definitely a douche bag move.
5. I’m not GQ enough.
- My little brother has frowned upon my wardrobe, “Look at the way he dresses! No wonder no one wants to go on a date with him.” My brother-in-law looked at my outfit before hitting the club and he had this to say, “You are not picking up any girls wearing that.” My aunt pleads with me, “Let your hair grow out. You look like a monk with your shaved head.” The only thing I can say in response to all these remarks is that I’m very low maintenance. I prefer function over form.
6. I don’t like/want kids.
- My dad thinks this. To be fair, I’m not that great around kids. I can be impatient around them. Two things always happen when I go down to Houston to visit my two nephews. On the drive down, I’m reminiscing on how cute and adorable they are. After spending a couple of hours with them, I can’t wait until my trip ends … so I can escape from their crazy shenanigans. I’m bi-polar that way.
7. I’m afraid of responsibility.
- My dad enjoys telling this story of me, “When we told him, he was expected to shoulder the burden of taking care of the family, he ran into his room and started crying.” Now, I don’t remember this ever happening so it must’ve been a long time ago. Perhaps two months ago? I assure you I have matured quite a bit since then and will not run away from my responsibilities. Plus my sister recently formed her own practice, so if there’s anyone who’s expected to shoulder this burden, it should be her. Just saying.
8. I’m too damn picky.
- My grandma have always said, “Why it take you so long to find suitable wife? You are looking for too many things in a wife! All that is important in a wife is that she is well-mannered and obedient to her husband.” My grandpa would then add, “Make sure she has wide hips! Wide hips makes it easier to pop out babies!” Maybe I need to be more specific in all my dating profiles: “Actively seeking female with wide hips to facilitate birthing process.”
9. I’m too damn un-picky.
- One of my close friend was trying to set me up on a blind date. He asked me, “So what are you looking for in a date?” I drew a blank. It had been such a long time since I’ve dated, that I actually don’t know what I was looking for in a date. He added, “Well you DO want a Vietnamese, Catholic girl who is well-educated right?” I thought about it and said, “Sureeee … “. He said, “You don’t seem so confident in your answer.” I said, “Well it’s just that I would also be fine with someone who’s NOT Vietnamese, NOT Catholic, and NOT well-educated”, with a really big smile. He was not smiling back at me.
10. I’m hard headed.
- My aunt always reminds me, “Don’t get married just because everyone says you should!” She reassures me that if I get married just to please everyone around me, that it’ll surely bring me unhappiness. Not to mention, I’ll be ruining someone else’s life after I figure out that marriage isn’t my thing. Because I have someone like her in my corner, I can confidently tell others that “I would like to get married someday, but if things don’t work out, I am perfectly happy being single forever.”