A friend asked me to post this on my blog.
No, I didn’t write this.
No, the guy in this story isn’t me.
Nor am I the girl in this story.
Therefore I don’t want to hear from anyone through facebook, phone calls, or texts saying “How sorry you are for my loss” or “How you too know how it feels to go through a break-up” and then proceed to share your most recent heartbreak story with me.
You have been warned.
A Love Story…
You may not know me, I am only one of the billions on this earth and even though there are many other amazing stories out there, I believe to my last breath that you will only come across the one I’m about to tell you, once…
I was never good around girls. Being too shy to even speak to friends didn’t help that fact either. That’s why I consider myself lucky for having met the most wonderful girl in the world…
I was an idiot that couldn’t see the signs that she liked me, but thanks to her persistence we wouldn’t be here now.
So, here is my love story. It all started with a Kiss…
I don’t know if she recalls… It was after all, out of the blue
She asked if I could drive her to work one night. I agreed and dropped her off in front of her workplace. We held hands the whole way there. And then I remember… For that split second before leaving my car. She gave me a quick peck on the cheek.
She may not have known… To her it may have been a simple thank you gesture. But that kissed made me the happiest guy alive at that moment. I couldn’t help but smile all the way home.
I snuck out later that night at 3am. Being as quiet as possible. Eager to go and pick her up…
On the ride back to her house. She hugged my arm the entire way. And I had to question, Was she into me? And if she was.. I thought. Why me? But really I didn’t care. I just was lost in that moment… and everything changed that next day.
On the First date…
I remember. She had on a Purple top with a black tank underneath. A conservative yet cute outfit… We may argue. But I remember I had a white and blue striped dress shirt with blue jeans. (no tie)
First was a horror movie. Then we shopped around different stores at the Mall… I’d never really shopped with a girl before, but I kept my cool. She was enjoying herself and so was I.
We ended the evening with dinner at a close by restaurant… that’s when she decided I should know about her past… So I listened. (That’s when she dropped a pretty big Bomb on me)
I may joke with her about how she trapped me when we already ordered food. She gave me the option. And I could have gotten up at any time to leave… But I didn’t..
I stayed thinking. This girl must be serious about me. It must have been so hard for her to come out and tell me everything up front. Who am I to judge her past? What’s done is done. So I stayed. And since then it was the best decision of my life.
From then on…
We spent as much time as we could together. Even when we weren’t we were always on the phone or chatting online. We couldn’t get enough of each other. I may not show it but when she’s not there for a brief second. I would miss her.
I don’t know if she knows, but I don’t regret a single moment that I spent with her.
She may have trouble believing me when I tell her this but I honestly, not a moment went by that wasn’t spent with her on my mind. In life, I believe that everyone is entitled to have a bit of insanity because no one is normal, no one is perfect, and my insanity was her. Everything I grabbed, every time I went shopping, every time I surfed the web I thought about her. Does she need me to grab her something from the grocery store? Do you think she will like this? Or what will she think of this website?
If it was love sickness, I had it. I had it good. I was infected beyond any cure.
Of course friends would take notice, they adored our relationship. And maybe that put too much pressure on us but imagining a world without her is like lighting a match under water. It couldn’t be done.
The past six years have been a blessing and I don’t regret a single moment of it. I’ve gotten to meet her wonderful family. Travelled out of state and country with her. And my family adores her as well. We would have a lot of common interest in shows, music, YouTube channels, and anime. We were made for each other, both left handed, both half Chinese/Vietnamese but barely know the language, and yes we do quite often finish each other sentences.
I just want her to know that I’ve worked hard so that we could have a future together. Every career oriented action was to eventually share a life with the only person that mattered to me.
Early on in the relationship, we even talked about where we would live, places to go travel, and even what names we would give to our first set of children.
Of course there are ups and downs in any relationship. There are dark times and bright times.
I don’t know what happened but as my love grew for her, she started to question her love for me…
Maybe I took too long to pop the important question… maybe she grew tired of me, or maybe… maybe I’ve lost to someone else….
Whatever it is, it has separated us for the time being and even if I don’t show it… I’m dying inside. Call me a wuss for feeling how I feel now but my heart aches and my brain grows swollen with the confusion of what is going to become of us. When I try to talk to her, it feels like she is shutting me out of something, I would have some of my questions answered but left with a set of new unanswered questions. Lately, she has been trying so hard to avoid any contact with me. And I’m told quite too often to why not just leave or cut ties completely and assured that it will make me stronger person…
Why is it that I have to break my promise and throw away what we had to make me stronger?.. My strength comes from her. She gives me the strength and reason to continue fighting.
All I know is life is not like the movies. If you spend your life looking for what’s better you’ll never be happy. God has blessed you with what you have in front of you and I thank GOD for I know I am undeserving for what he has given me.
Since the separation, I find myself going to sleep earlier not only because we’re not the phone but I would much rather sleep and dream that we’re still together than wake up to the reality that she’s no longer there beside me.
To my love, if you are reading this now, I just want you to know that there is no feeling that you get when you know the person is right for you. Some people say that when you know, you have that wonderful feeling that that person is the one but I call them liars. Heck, I don’t even know what’s in store for us. All I know is I LOVE YOU, WHOLE HEARTLY, with all my strength and tears. And as unmanly as that sounds, that’s good enough for me…
GOD has let you into my life for a reason and I want to spend the rest of it with you.
And if you don’t feel the same way. I dreaded this day would come, but I prepared a bit for it.
I loved making you cards for special occasions and I’m sorry I haven’t made one in a while, but one card in particular is more special than the others.
2009 for your birthday, I made you a baby blue card of felt and string. Stitched carefully by hand. (took me about a week) and within the stitching. On the back bottom right. I left a note for you 5 years ago. In case we ever separate. I would instruct you to feel the bump on the back of the card and carefully make an incision to retrieve the card.
Now it was 5 years ago and I have since forgotten what I wrote in it. Just know I LOVE YOU and just wish for your happiness.
I would miss all the little things that you did to make our relationship so special. The faces that you make, The way you check for split ends, When you randomly tackle hug me, the dancing emoticons that you would send me, the pouty face you make when I leave for the night, calling me your whale, demanding to hold my hand in the car, late night calls just to have you on the other line, your beauty and bubbly personality, and mostly your overall weirdness that complimented my weirdness.
You are a wonderful girl, pretty, smart, cute, and full of life. You always put others before you and cared about others when you didn’t have to or they didn’t give much care back. It’s another reason why I love you so much so please, don’t change who you are. You are perfect in every way.
NOW, if you still have the slightest feelings left for me. Ignore the above.
I PROMISE YOU with the same ring I wear on my finger, that I will put a proper ring on yours. I’ve been working hard so please allow me to prove my commitment to you. (I still won’t tell you when it’ll happen but I’ve planned this and its happening soon, many of our friends already know.)
I believe it’s hard for a man and woman to be best friends and not have any sort of feelings towards each other but I also believe that for a relationship to work, you have to become best friends with your lover. So yes, you are indeed, not only my girl, but the best friend I ever had and I mean it. When there is any sort of good new or bad news, you were the first person I wanted to share it with. So losing you, I will be losing not one but two important people in my life.
I’m not trying to force a decision on you, or make you feel guilty, honest!. I just want you to know the strong feelings I have for you and I don’t care about anything that you’ve done. Whether you believe me or not. I BELIEVE in TRUE LOVE because I met you.
So please,.. Try to recall how we felt about each other and the promises we made. All the memories and laughter that we shared.
THIS STORY IS BASED ON TRUE FEELINGS AND EVENTS. I MISS YOU