Category Archives: Dating

Extroverted Introverts

One of my facebook friends recently posted this online article called “18 Struggles of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy & Introverted“.

After reading the article, I felt certain points rang true for me.

“#17. You prefer to travel alone, but meet up with people once you’re there.”

  • Every single month, I try to visit my sister in Houston.  At the end of this year, I plan on driving to California (a total of 21 hours of driving) all by myself.  As an introvert, I don’t view long road trips as a daunting or dreadful task.  I look forward to them and try to make the drive as enjoyable as can be, by burning some new songs, downloading some new audiobooks, or making some few scenic stops along the way.

“#16. You’re at your happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to yourself.”

  • I always bring my headphones while I’m at Starbucks.  That way, I can be around a full coffee shop and still feel excluded.  I frequent Starbucks at least once a week and always feel productive when I’m there.  I guess a small part of me enjoys seeing people coming and going.  And a big part of me revels in the seclusion that is promised to me while I drown myself in my music.

  “#7. Dating is weird, because you’re smiling and laughing and talkative at dinner, and then you don’t want to answer their texts for four days, because like, you just want to be left alone…”

  • My alone time can sometimes be mis-interpreted as a lack of interest in the opposite sex.  I remember my last girlfriend wanted to break up with me because she didn’t even feel like we were dating.  I guess I enjoyed my alone time too much.  There are times where I get too comfortable in my personal space, that I forget about the other person.

“#4. When you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m.”

“# 5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover.”

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A Love Story…

A friend asked me to post this on my blog.

No, I didn’t write this.

No, the guy in this story isn’t me.

Nor am I the girl in this story.

Therefore I don’t want to hear from anyone through facebook, phone calls, or texts saying “How sorry you are for my loss”  or “How you too know how it feels to go through a break-up” and then proceed to share your most recent heartbreak story with me.

You have been warned.



A Love Story…

You may not know me, I am only one of the billions on this earth and even though there are many other amazing stories out there, I believe to my last breath that you will only come across the one I’m about to tell you, once…

I was never good around girls. Being too shy to even speak to friends didn’t help that fact either. That’s why I consider myself lucky for having met the most wonderful girl in the world…

I was an idiot that couldn’t see the signs that she liked me, but thanks to her persistence we wouldn’t be here now.

So, here is my love story. It all started with a Kiss…

I don’t know if she recalls… It was after all, out of the blue

She asked if I could drive her to work one night. I agreed and dropped her off in front of her workplace. We held hands the whole way there. And then I remember… For that split second before leaving my car. She gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

She may not have known… To her it may have been a simple thank you gesture. But that kissed made me the happiest guy alive at that moment. I couldn’t help but smile all the way home.

I snuck out later that night at 3am. Being as quiet as possible. Eager to go and pick her up…

On the ride back to her house. She hugged my arm the entire way. And I had to question, Was she into me? And if she was.. I thought. Why me? But really I didn’t care. I just was lost in that moment… and everything changed that next day.

On the First date…

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Top 10 Reasons of Why I’m Still Single

1.  I’m gay.

  • My cousin TA told me this.  She said, “A lot of people have been asking me if you’re gay.”  I didn’t ask her who, but I assume it would have to be her friends.  It could also be people in our family too.  I’ve been single for about 10 years, so I can see why they are wondering.  No girlfriend for such a long time, maybe he doesn’t like girls?  It doesn’t help that I enjoy going to gay clubs.  Plus, in my parent’s living room, there’s a picture of me wearing a dress when I was young.  I have to admit, I looked very flattering in that dress.

2.  I hangout with TA too much.

  • This is my mom’s words.  I went on a road trip to New Orleans with my cousin TA in August and when my mom found out, this is what she had to say, “Going out with TA again?  Don’t you know this weekend is Marian Days in Missouri?  Over 60,000 Vietnamese Catholics!!!  I’m sure you can find one single Vietnamese Catholic female there!”  To be frank, my mom does have a point.  TA is the closest thing I have to a best friend.  She’s hilarious, entertaining, and tons of fun.   When you have a bestie like TA, sometimes you forget that you’re still single and supposedly miserable.

3.  My mom is a cock blocker.

  • My dad is referencing to what happened with my very first girlfriend.  She was my first girlfriend, so I fell very hard for her.  I fell so hard that my grades started slipping and I had to drop a course in college.  I was a zombie in love.  Even on days where I’m sick and bed-ridden, I would crawl out of my bed just to visit my girlfriend.  Obviously my mom thought this obsession was unhealthy, so she advised that I take a break from dating and focus more on school.  I broke up with her a couple weeks later and ever since my dad has attributed my  relationship woes to my mom.

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“Online Dating 101: Being Safe”

A couple of months back, I was trying the whole online dating thing when I found out about “How About We” app.

The way it works is you just make a post about what’s your ideal date.

The post can go something like this: “How about we …

  • Grab some coffee at starbucks.”
  • Hangout at the pub and play some pool.”
  • Go to a Texas Rangers game.”

You put something up there.  If someone’s interested they’ll click on a button and you’ll get a notification saying someone’s down for some coffee with you.

You on the other hand can also browse people’s “ideal date” posts and respond to those dates if you’re interested.

Posting and browsing is free, but if you want to communicate with anyone to setup a date, you’re going to have to sign up for their membership.

Being the cheap and frugal person that I am, I decide against paying for anything that doesn’t guarantee results.  For all I know, this website could be a scam.

As an alternative, I tried to beat the system.  Or rather I found a loophole.   I posted the typical date idea with one small addition.

“Let’s grab dinner and entertainment at Dave and Busters.  Email me at myemail@hotmail.com, if you’re interested.”

Since the app charges you to communicate, I decided to bypass that step by including my own form of communication in the post.

Obviously, I realized that I was probably violating some kind of “how about we” rules/policies.  If everyone decided to do what I did, “how about we” would never make any money from all their hard work.

Within a half day, I got a nice email from their technical support saying that they deleted that post because I’m not supposed to post any personal form of communications and asked me nicely to refrain from posting anything like that in the future.

They busted my chops, but my futile attempt to beat the system actually produce some results.  To be exact, it produced one result.

I got an email from one person who was interested in going on a date with me.

After going back and forth introducing ourselves to each other, she sent me the following email:

Hi,

Well I would prefer we meet up immediately (meaning in the next few days). I realized what better way to know if I want to get to know that person more? I do ask that you post a pic with todays date so I know it’s a recent pic (I would do the same for you), it just eliminates the chances of us meeting up with a completely different person.

Two things stood out to me in this email.  First of all, she wants to meet immediately, which makes sense to me.  No use in going back and forth emailing, if you don’t enjoy each other’s company.
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Online Dating: Why I’m A Sociopath

I was talking to my cousin TA about online dating and how unsuccessful I’ve been at it.  She asked me how I approached these girls.

I told her, “Well since there’s like 50 million different profiles … I’ll chose like maybe 20-30 girls that I think are cute.  Then I come up with a great one-liner that will capture their hearts.  Something like, ‘Wow you are so beautiful.  We should go grab coffee sometime.  How does that sound? Yeah?  How about this weekend? Yeah? I’m down if you’re down.’  I’ll proceed to copy and past that to every single girl, then I wait and reap the rewards of my labor.”

She then asks me how that was working out.  I respond, “Well after 5 days of doing the exact same thing … I’ve gotten zero responses.”  She explains to me why my method doesn’t work, “You see.  Girls can sense it when you’re just copying and pasting like you do.  They know you’re sending the same message to every other girl, so why should they bother wasting anytime on you when you barely put any time into them?”

“Plus, there’s like 50-100 other guys doing the exact same thing.  Writing these cheesy one-liners hoping to get a response from them.  Of course they’re not going to respond unless they feel that you genuinely find something interesting about them.  You have to differentiate yourself from the others by doing what others aren’t doing.”

I asked her, “So what do you suggest I do?”  She responds, “Instead of focusing on quantity, focus on quality.  Read a couple of girls’ profile, find one or two that genuinely interests you.  Perhaps the girl is a animal activists or she enjoys photography.  It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you think it’s cool.  Now comment or approach her, talking about who she is rather than how she looks like in her profile pic.”

I consider it and tell her it’s worth the try.  It’s probably better than my cut-and-pasting one-liners method, so why not.

Next day, I get all excited when I log onto my dating site.  Browsing through all the different profiles, I find an interesting one with the following passage:

You cannot strike fear into a man, who has no one he loves.
You cannot persuade a man, who wants nothing.
You cannot give hope to a man, who has already given up.
You cannot argue with a man, who does not care.
You cannot defeat a man, who has nothing to lose.
So be wary of the man who is empty and alone,
For he has nothing to lose but everything to gain.

I’m thinking to myself, “Wow that’s deep.  I think I will comment on this passage.  It must mean something to her to start off her dating profile with this passage.”

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Reddit: Girlfriend Logic

Apparently, there are reddit users out there who are sick and tired of their significant other’s self-conflicing behaviors.  

Here is one such behavior:  (reddit link)

 

Apparently this kind of behavior is rampant amongst the reddit community:

  •  One time when I was in the car with my gf, she stopped the car and told me to get out. I handed my coat, got out, and started walking. Next thing I know, she pulls up next to me and starts yelling at me for walking away and making her turn around to come get me, instead of just standing there. mochacho
  •  My wife and I are in our mid to late thirties have been together for almost 10 years. She is a successful small business owner who makes a very comfortable amount of money in let’s say a consultative sales role. And while we don’t fight very often, when we do, she will eventually say, “you know what, somenorcalguy (she calls me by my reddit handle when she gets upset), if that’s the way you feel, then just leave!” And this is a good thing. Because one thing you learn about fighting with your SO as an adult is that you just back the fuck off before you flip your shit and you come back later and talk it out as humans. So when she says, “leave”, I say, “okay” and guess the fuck what – I leave. Now not every time, but about 62.37% of the time when she says, “leave” and I say, “okay” and I leave, she turns around and says, “Typical. Typical somenorcalguy just getting up and leaving and never facing the situation. You know what go. Just go.” This is a trap and there is no right answer. Whatever you do at this point you lose. But you know what, just go. Because as pissed of and as illogical as she is being at this moment, and as irritated as fuck as you must be right now, you always, always walk away and confront your problems will a cool head and a calm heart. Always. ALWAYS. SomeNorCalGuy
  •  Girl I dated once did that to me. We were fighting in the car on the way back to her house and as I pulled up to the house, I said,

    “wait a minute. Stay in the car. Let’s talk about this.”

    She responded with,”no, I’m getting out.”

    “Can I get out of the car and and talk to you?” I said.

    “No! Don’t get out of the car!”

    So I started driving home. Once I got there she called me and said she was aimlessly walking around her neighborhood. (It was about 2am) I told her I was coming to get her. She had cooled down by now and we made up. I took her to get some taco bell because she was hungry and this somehow made her even less angry.

    Then I dropped her off at home again and she said,”don’t ever leave me standing in my driveway again.”

    BITCH, YOU TOLD ME TO STAY IN THE CAR.snakesandthieves

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Speed Dating … Bumps

A long time ago, my brother Henry told me, “Hey you should try speed dating sometime!”

I didn’t really give it much thought until recently.

Saw a link somewhere online for a dating event in the DFW area for about $30-40, so I thought to myself, “Why not?  I ain’t got anything else going on this weekend.”

Signed up for it.

A day before the event, I looked myself in the mirror and said, “Damn it, I look so untidy.  Need a shave.  Both on my face and on my head.”

Then I came to the realization that my appearance shouldn’t be such a big deal.  They should love me for my insides not my outsides.

Started running through my closet for something to wear and it gave me a headache because I never spent more than 5 mins in there.  Here I’ve been dragging myself through my whole wardrobe to pick the perfect outfit.

I settled for slacks, collared t-shirt, a hoodie, and some rock-climbing shoes (they’re really comfortable).

Arrived at the event, which happened to be a casual restaurant, and noticed that 75% of the people there were dressed better than me.

Okay, not the best start, but just go with it.  No way I’m driving home 60 mins to get re-dressed again.

This is my first speed dating event so naturally I was a nervous wreck.  I found a far distant corner and quickly made that little area my nest.

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How To NOT Pickup A Girl

I went to the club this past weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday party.  The club had Far East Movement deejaying that night, so it was really packed.

Everyone in my friend’s group got drinks, including a Long Island Tea for me.  It was my first Long Island and it reminded of a vietnamese drink called chanh muoi or “salty lemon drink”.

Well I got drunk off that one drink, danced my butt off for like 15-20 mins and then I crashed and burn.  By crash and burn, I mean I had no more stamina or energy to keep on dancing.  Maybe it’s my age.

Regardless, I stood in the back of the audience that was crowding the stage where Far East Movement was singing.   My goal was to stay away from my friend’s group because I knew two things would happen if I got close …

#1.  If I’m with them, I will get pulled into their dancing mob which I had no more energy to do.
#2.  I will get pressured into drinking more which will literally cause me to black out or puke.

So I’m leaning on the wall, slowly recovering when I notice a cute girl stand a couple of feet to my side.  She looked like she worked there because she was wearing all black and she looked sober.

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