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Extroverted Introverts

One of my facebook friends recently posted this online article called “18 Struggles of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy & Introverted“.

After reading the article, I felt certain points rang true for me.

“#17. You prefer to travel alone, but meet up with people once you’re there.”

  • Every single month, I try to visit my sister in Houston.  At the end of this year, I plan on driving to California (a total of 21 hours of driving) all by myself.  As an introvert, I don’t view long road trips as a daunting or dreadful task.  I look forward to them and try to make the drive as enjoyable as can be, by burning some new songs, downloading some new audiobooks, or making some few scenic stops along the way.

“#16. You’re at your happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to yourself.”

  • I always bring my headphones while I’m at Starbucks.  That way, I can be around a full coffee shop and still feel excluded.  I frequent Starbucks at least once a week and always feel productive when I’m there.  I guess a small part of me enjoys seeing people coming and going.  And a big part of me revels in the seclusion that is promised to me while I drown myself in my music.

  “#7. Dating is weird, because you’re smiling and laughing and talkative at dinner, and then you don’t want to answer their texts for four days, because like, you just want to be left alone…”

  • My alone time can sometimes be mis-interpreted as a lack of interest in the opposite sex.  I remember my last girlfriend wanted to break up with me because she didn’t even feel like we were dating.  I guess I enjoyed my alone time too much.  There are times where I get too comfortable in my personal space, that I forget about the other person.

“#4. When you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m.”

“# 5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover.”

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Blogging About Blogging: Conception

A Dream Within A Dream

In the movie Inception, they play around with the idea of “a dream within a dream”.  The idea is simple.  You’re in a dream and for some reason, you see yourself wake up from the dream returning to your normal conscious life.

Except that you didn’t really wake up.  You only woke up in your dream.  You are still in the dream world.  This is where everything gets confusing because how can you ever know 100% that you woke up from you dream?

You don’t.  Well at least in the movie, it’s incredibly hard to distinguish dreams from real life.



Writing About My Writing

That’s exactly how I felt when I set out to write about my writing process.

–  How do I come up with these ideas?  (I don’t know, I just do.)
–  There has to be a process to it.  (It’s called the imagination.)
–  Next time you write a blog, observe yourself.  (That sounds like too much work.  Not only do I have to sit down and think about what to write.  Now I have to pay attention on how I do it.)

I don’t know how I convinced myself to do it, but I did.



Why Write?

I’ve always enjoyed writing.  Before this blog, I had two other blogs.  One in college and another one a couple of years back.

I usually get bored after awhile and stop blogging.  But I always come back.  Eventually.

For some reason, I have this creative bug inside of me that creates this itch.  The only way to quell the itch is to do something creative.

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The Bystander, The Consumer, & The Creator

In a book by Deepak Chopra, I remember reading the author explaining the 3 ways of experiencing life. You either experience life as a bystander, consumer, or creator.

For example, the sun rises every morning.

For most of us, we don’t even care about it. We have a billion other things on our plate. We’ve witnessed the sun rising millions of times. Today is no different.

For others who do care, they set about 30 mins once in a while to take in the view of a new day unfolding. There is something magical about seeing something so grand, warm, and beautiful rise out of the sky everyday.

For a select few, out there the sight of the sun provides an inspiration for something we are doing. We take in the beautiful sight of the sun and that pushes us to use the sun for our new company logo.



Life is amazing but most of us spend it as a bystander. We simply are too busy to appreciate all the simple things in life. There is not much in life for us. Life becomes boring and stressful as a bystander.

From time to time, we may stop to smell of fresh flowers or call up an old friend to catch up. Now we are simply consuming what life has to give. We learn that it feels good to take. Life becomes good and cheery.

Finally, there are moments in our life where we are inspired or motivated by the world. We seek expression through our work or hobbies. We learn that it feels even better to give back. Life becomes purposeful and fulfilling.

There is a cycle in life. Things exist and happen. We can ignore it and leave it alone. Or we can open ourselves up and embrace it. You can then take what you have received and find a way to express it to the world. It can be a meal, a blog, a song, a dance, or a letter.

Once you have created something, you now give others the opportunity to consume something new in the world. From something that has already been created, you have found a way to create something completely new for the world to admire. The have completed the cycle of life.

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Baking Up The Sermons

My cousin and me recently made a visit to Costco.

We were casually going through the aisles until we hit the pastry section.

Immediately, we were mesmerized by the smell of fresh baked goods.

We were kids in a candy store, wanting to take everything home.

We settled on a mixed batch of cookies consisting of chocolate chips, macadamia nuts, and oatmeal raisins.



After putting the batch into our cart, my cousin made the following the comment:

“Its so difficult to find the motivation to bake cookies, when it’s so easily accessible through Costco.”

I wasn’t sure where she was coming from, so I asked her to elaborate.

“Well for me it’s so much trouble to go buy the materials, prepare it, and then wait for it to be ready”.

“Sometimes I go through all that trouble and my batch isn’t even good as the ones at Costco.”



My cousin had a point.

Why go through all that trouble, when you don’t have to right?

Most of the people that I know, don’t have enough time to do all the things they want to do.

Why waste time when you already don’t have enough time?

Life is about prioritizing what’s important and sometimes baking doesn’t always make it to the top of the list.



The only reasons I can think of, in which a person actually prefers baking cookies over buying them is:

1. Their batch is superior in taste and quality compared to the bought ones.

2. Their batch is considerable cheaper when you factor in time and materials invested.

3. They aren’t in it for superior quality or saving money, but rather they just enjoy the process of baking.

Intrinsically, you have to derive some type of benefit or else why would you choose the harder route?



This weekend I talked briefly with a friend I haven’t seen for a very long time.

She told me she recently transitioned from finance to going to school at Le Cordon Bleu.

I never asked her why she wanted to be a pastry chef, but I can see the above reasons applying to her.

Reason #1 applies to her because you got to have self-confidence in your creations and believe that they are of the highest quality.

Reason #3 applies to her because it’s impossible to make a career out of baking if you can’t enjoy yourself in the kitchen.



People ask me all the time, “Why don’t you go to the church anymore?”

I never really knew the real answer, so I made something up:

“The Catholic Church has too many rules and regulations.”

“I don’t get anything from going to mass anymore.”

“I look around at all the people in church who pretend to be holy and I lose faith.”



In the end, all those answers were insufficient because I felt like taking them back the moment I said them.

The truth is, the Catholic Church is good.

I do get something from going to mass.

Others only affect my faith, because I let them.

But still, I haven’t found a reason for my lack of motivation to attend weekly mass.



That is until now.

I stopped going to church because I wanted more than what was being offered to me at church.

For me, the most important of part of mass is the sermon.

It’s the one part that personally bridges my life to the life of Jesus Christ and all that happened before and after his life.

Everything else is simply ritual repetition with small deviations depending on where we are at in the Catholic liturgical year.



For close to 30 years of my religious life, I was like my cousin who finds it easier to buy cookies then to make them.

She goes to Costco, she finds her cookies, she eats it, and moves on with her life.

I go to Church, I get my sermon, I think about it, and then I move on with my life.

Every Sunday for 30 years, I have gone through this same routine.

I realized this same routine was cutting it for me anymore.



I took myself out of the church, because I realized that I depended on the church so much I felt like I was spiritually complacent.

I grew spiritually complacent because I knew that my Pastor will feed my soul every Sunday.

I was so busy with everything else in life that I didn’t even try to make more time for my soul than the bare minimum.

The bare minimum for any practicing Catholic is a 1 hour devotion to God every Sunday.

Because the church only required 1 hour of my life, that’s all I gave to God.



But removing myself from church didn’t exactly help me spiritually.

What has helped me spiritually after leaving the church, is learning how to bake just like my friend.

Instead of going to costco and buying cookies, she “bakes up” her own batch of cookies.

For me, instead of going to church and receiving the sermon, I “bake up” my own sermons.

I found the process of “baking up” my own sermons more rewarding than just receiving the sermon at church.



When a pastor “bakes up” a sermon, he sits down and reads the bible.

He asks himself, “How can I make this bible passage relevant to my audience?”

He does research and tries to come up with some stories, jokes, and props to engage the audience.

He brainstorms, makes multiple drafts, and might ask others to critique his work.

When he believes it is good enough, he delivers it on Sunday.



I go through a similar process and once I’m done, I usually put my findings in a blog.

In fact, all my personal sermons that I have ever “baked up” go directly into this blog.

I do this not because of reason #1 (I believe my sermons are way better than the pastor.)

Nor do I believe that I fit under scenario #2 (I probably invest way more time than a pastor does. He’s definitely more efficient than me.)

I do this because of reason #3 (I simply enjoy the process of “baking up” my own sermons every week.)



For me the “baking-up” a sermon process is a spiritual process.

It encourages me to be proactive in my spirituality instead of waiting to be “fed” by the pastor every Sunday.

True, I may spend way more time coming up with these sermons when compared to the pastor’s preparation time.

But my priority is spirituality, so the fact that I spend so much time preparing, is actually a benefit not a drawback.

I’m not wasting time, I’m actually investing it.



Before, I might’ve told myself to just get the hour of mass over so I can do what I really want to do.

Now, I might spend 1, 3, or 5 hours on my own sermon until I’m satisfied with the result.

This may only apply to me, but I definitely enjoy the process of “baking-up” my own sermons because I am more involved.

I could always revert back to going to church and receive the pastor’s sermon weekly, that would be so easy.

The only reason why I persist down the hard road is because I just find it way more rewarding when I’m the one baking up the sermons.

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