Tag Archives: female

FB Status Update: The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

My brother Nghia Nguyen had this uneasy look on his face and asked me, “Hey you ever get this tightness sensation in your chest?”

Me: “Hmmm, sometimes I get it … but I’m not sure what caused it.”
Nghia: “Yeah, it’s really uncomfortable.”
Me: “Maybe you pulled a muscle or something.”
Nghia: “No it’s definitely not that. I asked Dr Chuong about this sensation and he told me it’s a female thing.”
Me: “What do you mean it’s a female thing.”
Nghia: “Well, Dr Chuong say’s that girls have hormones that concentrate around their chest area.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s where their boobies are.”
Nghia: “Exactly.”
Me: “You do realize that we don’t have boobies right?”
Nghia: “Dr. Chuong say’s the painful sensation in your chest is related to the fact that we lack boobies.”
Me: “Are you trying to say that this pain I get in my chest is my female hormones yearning to develop into nice firm breasts?”
Nghia: “That sounds nasty, but it’s pretty close to what Dr. Chuong said.”
Me: “And you just admitted that you had this pain in your chest, so that means you’re going to have big boobies!!!”
Nghia: “Nooo. Not me. What? So did you!”
Me: ” … I don’t remember admitting to having any chest pains …”
Nghia: “Liar!”

So my brother just admitted to me that he has chest pains and that the cause of the pain is his female hormones going haywire on him.

Not the most masculine thing that has came out of Nghia’s mouth.

Now I don’t know if I should believe anything Dr. Chuong tells me anymore.

How can he tell my brother something like this?

Even if it’s true, I wouldn’t want to hear that about myself.

Couldn’t Dr. Chuong have said something like, “Oh yeah that pain, it’s your inner Hulk trying to break free.”

Discovering female hormones inside of him could traumatize Nghia for the rest of his life.

He could end up being like me when he’s over 30.

And nobody wants that, because the world ain’t big enough for two Thao’s.

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Movie Review: The Dictator

***Spoiler Alert***

Synopsis:

Sacha Baron Cohen stars as a dictator who rules his country with oppression and ignorance.

As a dictator, he demands ridiculous things that don’t make sense such as a rocket with a point head.  If anyone argues with him or denies what he wants, he has them killed.

That is his one solution to everything.

One day he visits America, only to have his Uncle betray him with a phony Dictator who looks exactly like the real one.

The real one is kicked into the streets of New York to fend for himself.  There he meets a hippy girl with hairy armpits who he eventually falls in love with.

She temporarily makes him forget all his ideals about being a Dictator, but meets one of his ex-nuclear scientist who reminds him of what is important.

They both successfully break into the fake Dictator’s room, kick him out, and assume the real role of the Dictator.

He is then led to a peace summit, where he seizes sole control of his country only to change his mind last minute when his love re-appears.

He promises democracy in his country and he marries her in his own country.

Final Thoughts:

I find the humor obnoxious, immature, and outlandish.

This may work for certain people.

I also noticed the comedic levels pick up after he goes to America.

There is plenty of female/male nudity in this movie, sometimes for no apparent reasons, so be prepared for that.

Ratings:

4/5

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