Yeahhhhh … time to bash on men.
I’m actually not qualified to give advice on relationships, but when asked, I will give my two cents.
A friend recently came up to me and told me she caught her husband cheating on her.
She came home from work early, walked into her bedroom and found him with another woman on their bed.
She then grabbed all her stuff, moved out, and now they are living separately.
Her life is a complete mess. Family and friends keep on telling her she needs to divorce the man. Finances and bills are slowly catching up, now that they both pay separately for all expenses instead of sharing them like before. She’s thinking of quitting work, but knows that will only make things worse.
Of course she feels hurt, betrayed, and disrespected, but deep down she hopes that both her and her husband can grow together from this incident.
She says that her husband has a history of cheating. He’s never cheated on her before, but in previous relationships he has cheated. He once used her to cheat on someone else. When she found out, she broke it off and they never talked for like 2-3 years.
Now, they’ve been married for 5 years. Not all of them happily though, but the blame shouldn’t be placed all on him.
For the past year, they have just been co-existing together. There’s no words exchanged, no physical embraces, nothing that might resemble a healthy relationship.
She feels she is partly responsible for this void and thinks that he reached out to another woman because of this void in their relationship.
What hurts even more is the woman that he cheated on her with is a mutual friend.
She has been suspecting of them being up to something. Texting and calling each other whenever they can. Catching them playing footsies under the table, which he denies and say’s “It was just an accident.” Him getting another phone, so she can’t track all his calls and texts.
She even made him agree not to see/talk to her anymore when she felt it was getting out of hand.
They still found a way to see each other though.
Their mutual friend also has a history of cheating. She has jeopardized other people’s marriages too. She’s even tried to make it work by being the “3rd” person in the relationship. That obviously failed in the end.
She asks me, “What does it mean when a guy says give me time and space?”
I told her, “If it was me, I’d need that just to think things through and make sure what I intend to say to you is what I really want. But in his case, it could be an excuse for him to keep on cheating.”
Then she asks, “Do you think I should try to make this work?”
I told her, “Honestly, I think he will cheat on you again. He has a history of it. And you even confronted him about the early flirting and he still couldn’t control himself. I say let him go.”
He tells her that he doesn’t want to see her right now, but still wants to talk to her on the phone.
She says that in order for them to move on from this, the adulteress needs to be completely out of the picture from here on.
She says that she feels like he’s just waiting for her to file a divorce.
She says she will if he doesn’t try to make things better.
He has until the end of this year to make things better.