My brother Nghia Nguyen had this uneasy look on his face and asked me, “Hey you ever get this tightness sensation in your chest?”
Me: “Hmmm, sometimes I get it … but I’m not sure what caused it.”
Nghia: “Yeah, it’s really uncomfortable.”
Me: “Maybe you pulled a muscle or something.”
Nghia: “No it’s definitely not that. I asked Dr Chuong about this sensation and he told me it’s a female thing.”
Me: “What do you mean it’s a female thing.”
Nghia: “Well, Dr Chuong say’s that girls have hormones that concentrate around their chest area.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s where their boobies are.”
Nghia: “Exactly.”
Me: “You do realize that we don’t have boobies right?”
Nghia: “Dr. Chuong say’s the painful sensation in your chest is related to the fact that we lack boobies.”
Me: “Are you trying to say that this pain I get in my chest is my female hormones yearning to develop into nice firm breasts?”
Nghia: “That sounds nasty, but it’s pretty close to what Dr. Chuong said.”
Me: “And you just admitted that you had this pain in your chest, so that means you’re going to have big boobies!!!”
Nghia: “Nooo. Not me. What? So did you!”
Me: ” … I don’t remember admitting to having any chest pains …”
Nghia: “Liar!”
So my brother just admitted to me that he has chest pains and that the cause of the pain is his female hormones going haywire on him.
Not the most masculine thing that has came out of Nghia’s mouth.
Now I don’t know if I should believe anything Dr. Chuong tells me anymore.
How can he tell my brother something like this?
Even if it’s true, I wouldn’t want to hear that about myself.
Couldn’t Dr. Chuong have said something like, “Oh yeah that pain, it’s your inner Hulk trying to break free.”
Discovering female hormones inside of him could traumatize Nghia for the rest of his life.
He could end up being like me when he’s over 30.
And nobody wants that, because the world ain’t big enough for two Thao’s.
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