Tag Archives: space

Introverts Unite!

I saw this pic on reddit a few weeks back.  (reddit post link)

 

 

Reading the captions made me giggle.  Thinking of how silly introverts are.  Uniting separately in their own homes.  Hehe.

The humor slowly faded when I realized that I am also an introvert.



Introverts + Strangers

As an introvert, I see social gatherings as a challenge.  It takes tremendous willpower, courage, and motivation to get me to go somewhere with a bunch of strangers.  Especially if the expectation at the event is that you should mingle with everyone there.

The way I feel about meeting strangers is similar to people’s mindset when dealing with someone who has the plague.  There is a distaste in your mouth.  Your stomach feels queasy.  You try to keep a distance from them.

With the plague, people have a good reason to act like this.  But with an introvert like myself, what am I so afraid of catching?

If anything, I might catch their infectious enthusiasm, humor, or wisdom.  There’s plenty of awesome people out there who I have yet to meet.

Yet when I’m at an event I always revert to my introverted self.

Perhaps I’m afraid of what people may think of me once we start talking.  At least if I keep to myself, I’ll always be a mystery to them.

Perhaps I have a limit on how many relationships I can juggle at once.  With more people, even if they are just acquaintances, it overburdens my emotional capacity.  Since I’m an introvert and only have a few quality relationships, I go out of my way to protect those few that I do have.  I know how hard it would be to find another one.  So I push others away, to ensure the health of my current relationships.

Perhaps I am a control freak when it comes to my personal space.  At home, I can re-arrange things how I like it.  Everything is predictable when I’m by myself.  Out there, not so much.  I have less control in the real world.  People tend to do things that I least expect.  And I find that extremely intimidating.



Introverts + Family & Friends

I don’t really mind going to places where I know most of the people there like family get-togethers or parties with friends.

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Most Valuable Substance on Earth

The most valuable substance can’t be seen, touched, tasted, smelled, or heard.

Its what everyone has, but no one ever has enough of it.

It’s everywhere you go, yet no where to be found.

It grows in value, only if you learn how to appreciate it.

What could it possibly be?



The most valuable substance on earth is space.

When you buy a house, you are really buying space.

Would you want a house that is already occupied? No, why would I want a house where strangers are in my space.

Would you want a house that doesn’t have a kitchen? No, I need space to cook for my children.

A house is appealing only as long as it serves its function, which is to provide empty space for you to live comfortably.



When you buy a glass cup, you are solely interested in the space inside.

The space inside the cup is what makes it functional.

Would anyone ever buy a cup that is solid glass? I’m buying the cup to drink from, but if it’s solid how can the piece of glass hold the water now?

Glass cups are useful only if it is hollow. The material the cup is made out of is inconsequential.

As long as the cup has space to contain fluids, it can be made out of steel, plastic, or paper.



Every year, millions of dollars are invested into Superbowl ads. But what really is being bought is space.

All of America is tuned into this channel, therefore I will sell you this slot of 30 secs for 56 million dollars.

You can fill that space with anything you think will gain the attention of your viewers. You need to come up with even more money to create something catchy.

Would anyone every buy a slot in the program, if it’s already filled? No, why would I buy a space that already has someone else’s commercial in it.

I put millions on the table, solely so I have that space in the programming to myself. I want that space to be empty, so I can fill it with what I want.



When it comes down to personal space, this is where many of us get stuck.

We don’t know how to manage our own personal space.

We don’t know how to create our own space.

The problem with most of is we don’t have any space at all.

Yet space is the most important thing in our possession.



When our space is filled with events and tasks, we quickly run out of time.

The only way to create space in our schedule is to say no.

We can’t be everywhere doing everything, so we have to say no.

Saying no, frees up our schedule and slowly restores space.

Say no enough times and suddenly you have your life back.



Most of us aspire to do great things, but where we fall short is we don’t make space for those things to happen.

If you want to pursue your passion of singing, you won’t get very far if you don’t make space for it.

Many people try to squeeze their new goal or new dreams into their already existing busy life.

They expect to keep all that they have now in addition to what may come through the realization of their dream.

The materialization of a goal requires space in your schedule for it to happen.



Stress is caused by our brains constantly being bombarded by thoughts.

“I hate work. Why did she lie to me? How am I going to pay my bills? Why is this lady buying so much stuff?’

Relaxation methods involves creating space in the mind.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Meditate. Yoga. Tai Chi. Praying. Chanting.

All these exercises are meant to empty the mind of distracting thoughts which results in more space within your mind.



At the end of most people’s lives, they regret not having more time to spend with family and friends.

What they are running out is space.

The space in their timeline is quickly coming to end.

If only they could have some more space to spend it with their loved ones.

If they could, they would go back and try to dedicate more space for friends and family.



The most valuable substance can’t be seen, touched, tasted, smelled, or heard.

Its what everyone has, but no one ever has enough of it.

It’s everywhere you go, yet no where to be found.

It grows in value, only if you learn how to appreciate it.

The most valuable substance on earth is space.

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Hereditary Habits

Besides passing along certain genes to you as a parent, they also pass on habits to you. This is done easily because as a child you grow up looking up to your parents.  For most of your life, they are the only model you have to base your own actions and reactions by.

This is both good and bad, because as a parent they would love for you to pickup on everything they do positively.  At the same time, they would love for you not to pick up on everything they do negatively.  The interesting thing is they can’t program you to do only one.

As much as your parents would love to assume that you didn’t hear them cuss during the traffic jam.  Or see you lie to your spouse about how much you spent at the store today.  You, as a child see all of this, and in one way or another it gets programmed into your mind.

You absorb it all, both good and bad habits.  Many people just accept the fact that they have all these traits which most likely came from being around their parents.  While others absolutely hate it and will even go to the opposite extreme of the habit.

For example, let’s say your mom is a hoarder.  She hoards everything from clothes, to food, to plastic containers and even old electronic devices.  You grow up with absolutely no space for your own and nothing but antique electronics that no one in their right mind would want.

You develop a mindset that is the complete opposite of your mom.  “Why do I need so many things and why can’t I be happy with nothing.”  “I never want to grow up being like my mom.”

Suddenly you start to categorize yourself as a minimalist.  You don’t need anything.  Just the bare essentials.

And you start shunning anyone who you deem to possess hoarding traits.  “I grew up with a hoarding mom my whole life and was miserable because of it.  I’m not going to re-live that nightmare with you.”

You expect the whole world to embrace this new you.  Who is actually created from the interacting with your mother your whole life.  The new you is based on the opposite of who your mother is.

In general, pertaining to our parent’s habits, we will do one of three things:

  1. Accept them as who we are and just let their habits be our habits.
  2. Not accept them, push them away, hate it, and even go to the opposite extreme of the habit.
  3. Become oblivious to it and not even notice it having an effect on us.  For some it may still have an effect, despite their lack of knowledge of the habits.

Personally, I recommend none of these options.  My recommendation is trying to find a happy medium between who your parents’ habits and the extreme opposite of the habit.

Being a hoarder does has it’s positive.  Why else would your mother do it?  People actually recommend buying products in bulk, storing them at home, and using them as needed.

Buying in bulk saves you money because they are usually priced cheaper then individual packaged items.  Buying in bulk also saves you time and gas from all the visits you would’ve made to the store had you gotten the items in individual packages.

At the same time, being a minimalist also has benefits to it too.  You never buy things that end up in your closet or garage like the newest exercise machine that promises to make you look like a super model.  Money and space is saved.

The goal is to embrace both sides and learn when is the best time to apply each habit.  Living on a budget, it’s not wise to buy things cheap, hoard them at home, and never use them.  At the same time, as a business owner you can’t expect revenue to come in when you’re not willing to spend money on marketing and re-modeling.

There is a reason and a season for everything in life.  It is up to you to make the best out of what is given to you.  And what is given to most of us is hereditary habits.

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Cheating Husband

Yeahhhhh … time to bash on men.

I’m actually not qualified to give advice on relationships, but when asked, I will give my two cents.

A friend recently came up to me and told me she caught her husband cheating on her.

She came home from work early, walked into her bedroom and found him with another woman on their bed.

She then grabbed all her stuff, moved out, and now they are living separately.

Her life is a complete mess.  Family and friends keep on telling her she needs to divorce the man.  Finances and bills are slowly catching up, now that they both pay separately for all expenses instead of sharing them like before.  She’s thinking of quitting work, but knows that will only make things worse.

Of course she feels hurt, betrayed, and disrespected, but deep down she hopes that both her and her husband can grow together from this incident.

She says that her husband has a history of cheating.  He’s never cheated on her before, but in previous relationships he has cheated.  He once used her to cheat on someone else.  When she found out, she broke it off and they never talked for like 2-3 years.

Now, they’ve been married for 5 years.  Not all of them happily though, but the blame shouldn’t be placed all on him.

For the past year, they have just been co-existing together.  There’s no words exchanged, no physical embraces, nothing that might resemble a healthy relationship.

She feels she is partly responsible for this void and thinks that he reached out to another woman because of this void in their relationship.

What hurts even more is the woman that he cheated on her with is a mutual friend.

She has been suspecting of them being up to something.  Texting and calling each other whenever they can.  Catching them playing footsies under the table, which he denies and say’s “It was just an accident.”  Him getting another phone, so she can’t track all his calls and texts.

She even made him agree not to see/talk to her anymore when she felt it was getting out of hand.

They still found a way to see each other though.

Their mutual friend also has a history of cheating.  She has jeopardized other people’s marriages too.  She’s even tried to make it work by being the “3rd” person in the relationship.  That obviously failed in the end.

She asks me, “What does it mean when a guy says give me time and space?”

I told her, “If it was me, I’d need that just to think things through and make sure what I intend to say to you is what I really want.  But in his case, it could be an excuse for him to keep on cheating.”

Then she asks, “Do you think I should try to make this work?”

I told her, “Honestly, I think he will cheat on you again.  He has a history of it.  And you even confronted him about the early flirting and he still couldn’t control himself.  I say let him go.”

He tells her that he doesn’t want to see her right now, but still wants to talk to her on the phone.

She says that in order for them to move on from this, the adulteress needs to be completely out of the picture from here on.

She says that she feels like he’s just waiting for her to file a divorce.

She says she will if he doesn’t try to make things better.

He has until the end of this year to make things better.

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