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Reddit: Girlfriend Logic

Apparently, there are reddit users out there who are sick and tired of their significant other’s self-conflicing behaviors.  

Here is one such behavior:  (reddit link)

 

Apparently this kind of behavior is rampant amongst the reddit community:

  •  One time when I was in the car with my gf, she stopped the car and told me to get out. I handed my coat, got out, and started walking. Next thing I know, she pulls up next to me and starts yelling at me for walking away and making her turn around to come get me, instead of just standing there. mochacho
  •  My wife and I are in our mid to late thirties have been together for almost 10 years. She is a successful small business owner who makes a very comfortable amount of money in let’s say a consultative sales role. And while we don’t fight very often, when we do, she will eventually say, “you know what, somenorcalguy (she calls me by my reddit handle when she gets upset), if that’s the way you feel, then just leave!” And this is a good thing. Because one thing you learn about fighting with your SO as an adult is that you just back the fuck off before you flip your shit and you come back later and talk it out as humans. So when she says, “leave”, I say, “okay” and guess the fuck what – I leave. Now not every time, but about 62.37% of the time when she says, “leave” and I say, “okay” and I leave, she turns around and says, “Typical. Typical somenorcalguy just getting up and leaving and never facing the situation. You know what go. Just go.” This is a trap and there is no right answer. Whatever you do at this point you lose. But you know what, just go. Because as pissed of and as illogical as she is being at this moment, and as irritated as fuck as you must be right now, you always, always walk away and confront your problems will a cool head and a calm heart. Always. ALWAYS. SomeNorCalGuy
  •  Girl I dated once did that to me. We were fighting in the car on the way back to her house and as I pulled up to the house, I said,

    “wait a minute. Stay in the car. Let’s talk about this.”

    She responded with,”no, I’m getting out.”

    “Can I get out of the car and and talk to you?” I said.

    “No! Don’t get out of the car!”

    So I started driving home. Once I got there she called me and said she was aimlessly walking around her neighborhood. (It was about 2am) I told her I was coming to get her. She had cooled down by now and we made up. I took her to get some taco bell because she was hungry and this somehow made her even less angry.

    Then I dropped her off at home again and she said,”don’t ever leave me standing in my driveway again.”

    BITCH, YOU TOLD ME TO STAY IN THE CAR.snakesandthieves

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Speed Dating … Bumps

A long time ago, my brother Henry told me, “Hey you should try speed dating sometime!”

I didn’t really give it much thought until recently.

Saw a link somewhere online for a dating event in the DFW area for about $30-40, so I thought to myself, “Why not?  I ain’t got anything else going on this weekend.”

Signed up for it.

A day before the event, I looked myself in the mirror and said, “Damn it, I look so untidy.  Need a shave.  Both on my face and on my head.”

Then I came to the realization that my appearance shouldn’t be such a big deal.  They should love me for my insides not my outsides.

Started running through my closet for something to wear and it gave me a headache because I never spent more than 5 mins in there.  Here I’ve been dragging myself through my whole wardrobe to pick the perfect outfit.

I settled for slacks, collared t-shirt, a hoodie, and some rock-climbing shoes (they’re really comfortable).

Arrived at the event, which happened to be a casual restaurant, and noticed that 75% of the people there were dressed better than me.

Okay, not the best start, but just go with it.  No way I’m driving home 60 mins to get re-dressed again.

This is my first speed dating event so naturally I was a nervous wreck.  I found a far distant corner and quickly made that little area my nest.

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Reddit: Kiddies Running Away From Home

A trending reddit post today was labeled “Woke up to this note from my 6 year old”. (reddit link)

 

For those of you who can’t read the language of “child lingo”, here is the translation posted by a redditor (Poemi):

Hi Dad,
I ran
away. Just
kidding, I’m
in my
bedroom

Things must’ve gotten pretty serious around the house for a little kid to think of running away from home.  Of course we have some mature redditors sharing their own childhood stories of running away from home:

  1.  I remember I did this once when I was 4. (Except I was serious) I packed a walmart bag with cheese and lived by the tree in my front yard until I got thirsty from all the cheese and came back inside. Those fifteen minutes living on my own helped shape me into the man I am today. (gmrobert123)
  2. I ran away when I was about 9 once. I made the mistake of taking our black lab with me (she was going to catch rabbits for me!).   We lived pretty rural and down a valley, so I got about a kilometer down the road when I heard my dad’s car start up and hid up a tree. Damn dog sat at the bottom of the tree barking at me. Ruined everything.  (sezzeratum)
  3. When I was little, my go-to tantrum threat was “I’LL RUN AWAY!!” one day after me threatening this for the millionth time after I couldn’t have my way, my mum walked into my room and packed a nightgown, and my toothbrush into a little bag, escorted me to the front door and shut me out, with a “good luck”.After 5 minutes of sitting on the doorstep crying, she let me in and I stopped that nonsense forever (Arelien)
  4. I was also a 4 year old run-away. My plans at the time were to live at the end of my street on a patch of grass that divided the main road from the houses. I packed an 8×10 picture of the sacred heart of Jesus it looks like this… http://imgur.com/Viq64r7 Also packed a rosary. And a blanket. Pull ups ( had a slight bed wetting problem) No food.I started to walk down the sidewalk to my new home when my mother came running after me. She asked me where I was going. I remember putting my hands on my hips, tossing my hair back and with all the 4 year old dramatics I could muster said ” I’m outta here, I’m running away”. I can remember my moms face, she wanted to laugh but didn’t…until she opened my “run-away” bag. (badgirlmeat)
  5. Kids these days… I ran away back in 88 when I was four years old. Called my mom the “B” word that I learned from my dad. Packed my Hot Wheels case with all the Hot Wheels that a kid would ever need. Got around the block and got jumped by some black kids in my neighborhood and they jacked my shit… Decided the “Thug Life” wasn’t for me and went back home.  (ImNuttz4Buttz)

Reddit: Drake with NBA Stars

One of the top posts in reddit today is of Drake labeled “Drake looks like the proudest girlfriend”. (reddit link)

I thought this was some kind of joke, but after looking at this pic … it’s true he does look like he could be their girlfriends.

 

Here are some top comments from other redditors:

  • Cause he a good girl and he know it.
  • Best he ever had
  • Overly Attached Drake
  • Good on LeBron, Kobe and the rest of the guys for setting time aside for the Make-a-Wish Foundation.
  • Umso umso umso umso proud of you
  • He’s practicing to be an NBA wife.
    • ain’t no award for that.
      • trophies
  • Drake the type of nigga to drink his beer through a straw.
    • Drake the type of nigga to take a picture of another nigga, take it to the barber and say “this one.”
      • Drake the type of nigga who wipes an eyelash off of his bro’s face and tells him to blow it and make a wish.
        • Drake the type of nigga who chews bubblegum and wraps the telephone cord around his finger.
          • Drake the type of nigga to pull his pants all the way down when taking a piss.
            • Drake the type of nigga that when you catch him looking, he blushes
  • Stuck it in the bottom now I’m queer
    • Stuck it in the bottom, now my whole team fucking here
      • They started on his bottom
        • now his whole team in his rear
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Reddit: Hating on “Just Girly Things”

Apparently, there is this really popular blog called “Just Girly Things”.

It mainly focuses on all the cute, adorable, and precious things that girls enjoy in life such as …

#1.  Past Relationships

#2.  Being Silly

#3.  And Expanding Your Social Network

I don’t know about you but I find most of these things quite disgusting.  I’m sure it’s due to the fact that I’m a guy and I can’t really appreciate all the little things that girls are fond of.

Well apparently, I’m not the only one out there who finds these “Just Girly Things” repulsive.

There is a group of redditors (people who post on reddit) who also share in my distaste of “Just Girly Things”.

Here are some of their posts:

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How To NOT Pickup A Girl

I went to the club this past weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday party.  The club had Far East Movement deejaying that night, so it was really packed.

Everyone in my friend’s group got drinks, including a Long Island Tea for me.  It was my first Long Island and it reminded of a vietnamese drink called chanh muoi or “salty lemon drink”.

Well I got drunk off that one drink, danced my butt off for like 15-20 mins and then I crashed and burn.  By crash and burn, I mean I had no more stamina or energy to keep on dancing.  Maybe it’s my age.

Regardless, I stood in the back of the audience that was crowding the stage where Far East Movement was singing.   My goal was to stay away from my friend’s group because I knew two things would happen if I got close …

#1.  If I’m with them, I will get pulled into their dancing mob which I had no more energy to do.
#2.  I will get pressured into drinking more which will literally cause me to black out or puke.

So I’m leaning on the wall, slowly recovering when I notice a cute girl stand a couple of feet to my side.  She looked like she worked there because she was wearing all black and she looked sober.

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