I was talking to my cousin TA about online dating and how unsuccessful I’ve been at it. She asked me how I approached these girls.
I told her, “Well since there’s like 50 million different profiles … I’ll chose like maybe 20-30 girls that I think are cute. Then I come up with a great one-liner that will capture their hearts. Something like, ‘Wow you are so beautiful. We should go grab coffee sometime. How does that sound? Yeah? How about this weekend? Yeah? I’m down if you’re down.’ I’ll proceed to copy and past that to every single girl, then I wait and reap the rewards of my labor.”
She then asks me how that was working out. I respond, “Well after 5 days of doing the exact same thing … I’ve gotten zero responses.” She explains to me why my method doesn’t work, “You see. Girls can sense it when you’re just copying and pasting like you do. They know you’re sending the same message to every other girl, so why should they bother wasting anytime on you when you barely put any time into them?”
“Plus, there’s like 50-100 other guys doing the exact same thing. Writing these cheesy one-liners hoping to get a response from them. Of course they’re not going to respond unless they feel that you genuinely find something interesting about them. You have to differentiate yourself from the others by doing what others aren’t doing.”
I asked her, “So what do you suggest I do?” She responds, “Instead of focusing on quantity, focus on quality. Read a couple of girls’ profile, find one or two that genuinely interests you. Perhaps the girl is a animal activists or she enjoys photography. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you think it’s cool. Now comment or approach her, talking about who she is rather than how she looks like in her profile pic.”
I consider it and tell her it’s worth the try. It’s probably better than my cut-and-pasting one-liners method, so why not.
Next day, I get all excited when I log onto my dating site. Browsing through all the different profiles, I find an interesting one with the following passage:
You cannot strike fear into a man, who has no one he loves.
You cannot persuade a man, who wants nothing.
You cannot give hope to a man, who has already given up.
You cannot argue with a man, who does not care.
You cannot defeat a man, who has nothing to lose.
So be wary of the man who is empty and alone,
For he has nothing to lose but everything to gain.
I’m thinking to myself, “Wow that’s deep. I think I will comment on this passage. It must mean something to her to start off her dating profile with this passage.”