No Regrets

Me and my brother Nghia was driving down to Houston over the weekend and he asked me the following question:  “If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?”

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Now that’s a really tough question to answer on the spot.

First of all, it’s based on the assumption that we made plenty of stupid decisions.  Decisions we wish we could take back.  Decisions that steered us away from what we wanted at that time.

For example, for my nephew’s birthday, I thought it would be a wise decision to cut watermelon while I was drunk and trying to carry a conversation with my cousin Audrey.  Half-way through our discussion, I missed the watermelon and instantly cut into something else that colored the knife red.  (Now I know why you shouldn’t operate heavy machinery while you’re intoxicated.)

Of course, I am guilty of mistakes during all parts of my life.  Who isn’t?

The second assumption is that once we change something significant about our past, something significant about our present should also change.

This kind of thinking puts you in passenger seat of your life, instead of being in the driver’s seat.  You are pretty much admitting that you have no power or influence in your life.  If your life is so horrible right now, why don’t you change something about it?

Another fallacy in this way of thinking is you may judge that one mistake to be monumental, but in the grand scheme of things it was really insignificant.  Therefore by changing something insignificant about your past, you end up with the same present that you’re discontent with.

Here’s a hypothetical scenario.  You regret losing one of your past loves.  You were jealous and accused them of cheating on you.  It destroyed your relationship.  And ever day since, you wondered what could have been, if you had done otherwise.  So you make that wish.  Wishing that jealously would no longer be an issue.  And once you open your eyes expecting to be next to your lover again, you aren’t.  For some reason, that wasn’t enough.  Perhaps jealousy was just the tip of the iceberg.  Perhaps the relationship was destined to end regardless of how you acted.

Another way a wish could go wrong is if we wished something away that was actually an important aspect of your life.

Dissecting “Haters Everywhere”

I recently posted this on my facebook status:

*Haters Everywhere*

Perhaps the reason why people hate us so much is they can’t stand staring into the intense light we emit.

Therefore, whenever someone hates on us, take it as a compliment.

Their hate is an acknowledgment of how awesome you are.

No lie.

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It can be extremely discouraging to find out that people hate on us.

Usually, we don’t even know why they’re hating on us. We have no clue what we did.

Sometimes we find out the reason, and we think it’s silly or ridiculous.

People just have so much free time that they spend it luxuriously on hating us.

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This bothers a lot of people. They feel powerless because they can’t change the perception of others.

Sometimes when we try to get others to like us, they hate us even more.

It can be extremely discouraging knowing that there is hate in the world and you can’t do anything about it.

Well there is something that you can do about all the hate in the world.

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You can turn hate into a good thing.

Instead of viewing it as a bad thing and wanting it to go away, turn it into a good thing so that when it happens you are not bothered by it.

You actually welcome hate, because now instead of bringing you down, it brings you up.

That’s what my status updates tries to convey to the reader.

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People hate on you because you are awesome.

More hate means that you are more awesome.

Therefore, regardless of love or hate you always end up feeling awesome.

You can’t control how others treat you, but you can control how you respond to love and hate.

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The trick to living a happy life is turning all bad situations into good ones.

If we can find the silver lining in all bad situations, suddenly our life doesn’t seem so bleak.

We look deep under the surface, instead of judging immediately by the appearance of something that it is bad.

Life can potentially diverge into a million possibilities, just because we are open to it being more than what it seems.

Movie Reflections: Looper

(***Contains spoilers to the movie.)

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From watching the movie Looper, I gather one common theme.

Everyone is willing to kill someone else, in order for someone they love.

Bruce Willis is willing to kill 3 different kids in order to protect his love.

The Rainmaker is willing to kill all loopers in order to avenge his mother’s death.

Joseph Gordon-Lovett is willing to kill Bruce Willis in order to protect himself.

Everyone is out to get someone.

This common trend changes in the end.

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Joseph Gordon-Lovett plays present day Joe.

Bruce Willis plays 30 years in the future Joe.

If Bruce Willis dies, it means Joseph Gordon-Lovett will also die in 30 years.

But if Joseph Gordon-Lovett dies, it means Bruce Willis will immediately cease to exist.

With no present day Joe alive, there is no one to age 30 years into the future.

Willis cannot kill Gordon-Lovett, but Gordon-Lovett can kill Willis.

And he does kill Willis, but without really doing anything to Willis.

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In the future, there exists a horrible being called the Rainmaker.

The Rainmaker is responsible for destroying the world and ruling over it with violence.

Bruce Willis goes back in time to kill the Rainmaker while he is still small and vulnerable.

Bruce Willis wishes to prevent the Rainmaker from killing his wife who dies in the future.

Joseph Gordon-Lovett quickly befriends the child Rainmaker.

Soon, we find out why the child is called Rainmaker.

He can make other human beings explode leaving a rain a blood that showers the earth.

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Towards the end of the movie, Bruce Willis catches up to the child Rainmaker.

Bruce Willis is ready to kill the kid, but the Rainmaker’s mother is standing in the way.

She yells for the kid to run away while she blocks the path of the gun shot.

Joseph Gordon-Lovett runs to scene only to helplessly witness this from afar.

Suddenly, he see’s the cycle of deaths.

He see’s Bruce Willis killing the Rainmaker’s mother.

He see’s the Rainmaker escaping, hurt and bitter.

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He see’s the Rainmaker growing up and taking out his anger on the whole world.

He see’s the Rainmaker once again killing Bruce Willis’s wife.

He see’s Bruce Willis once again going back in time to kill the child Rainmaker again.

Joseph Gordon-Lovett see’s how futile Bruce Willis’ actions are.

Bruce Willis’ action to kill the Rainmaker causes the Rainmaker grows without a mother.

He will grow into a vengeful, hateful being with a uncontrollable power.

Bruce Willis’ need to kill someone, ensures that someone will eventually kill his wife.

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If you spread hate, hate will one day come back for you.

If you kill someone to protect your own, someday someone will kill someone you cherish to protect their own.

How can you blame them for doing the exact same thing you did?

Joseph Gordon-Lovett realized this just before Bruce Willis was going to shoot the mother.

He realized the only way to prevent a chaotic future, was to stop the cycle of hate and violence.

He took the gun in his hand, spun it around so that it pointed at his own heart.

And he squeezed the trigger, ending his own life.

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He knew he couldn’t stop Bruce Willis in time, but he knew if he died his future self would also die.

By killing himself, he made sure that Bruce Willis could not exist anymore.

Everyone is always busy trying to kill someone else to protect the one they love.

Rarely does anyone see that the problem perhaps could exist within oneself.

And even rarer is to find someone willing to sacrifice himself for the good of others.

Joseph Gordon-Lovett made this decision at the end of the movie.

He ensured the Rainmaker’s mother would live to raise the child with plenty of love.

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Most of us seek to solve problems by putting the blame on others.

You despise them, you spread rumors, and perhaps even get into verbal and physical conflict with them.

You end up creating bad karma, that one day will come back for you with a vengeance.

I believe that all the solutions to our problems can be found by looking inside instead of outside.

By looking inside, we then focus on the one thing we do have control over.

Perhaps then we would be able to sacrifice a part of ourselves for the benefit of others.

In every moment, you can choose to be like Bruce Willis or Joseph Gordon-Lovett.

Right Vs Wrong

Everybody who is anybody believes that they are right.

And in order for them to be right, somebody has to be wrong.

It’s a given. Two sides of every coin.

Most of us can’t argue w/ facts, so anyone who knows their facts is on pretty solid ground.

But facts can change too.

People once believed the world is flat. Well it’s not flat, it’s round.
People once believed that atoms are solid. Atoms are mostly made out of empty space.
People once believed that space travel is impossible. Now space travel is very possible.

Our world is always changing. What we hold true and to be non-debatable fact one day has the potential to be something different another day.

That is life.

So what’s the point of trying so hard to be right?

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Right/Wrong thinking encourages everyone to be close minded.

“I’m right, you’re wrong. No more discussion.”

“There is only one way to do this and only I have the key.”

“You have to choose between yes/no. There is no in between.”

To be right all the time takes enormous energy and your constantly under pressure. You can’t relax or you might falter and make a mistake.

What’s so wrong with being wrong from time to time?

It proves that you are human.

Being right all the times means you are perfect.

Perfection is no fun, when its all the time.

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Sometimes people are so stuck on being right that it ruins their relationship.

People are so obsessed on being so right, that they would rather lose out on a relationship.

“I don’t care if you want to leave me. You know that I’m right on this argument.”

To them being right is more important than maintaining the relationship.

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Religions are famous for Right/Wrong thinking.

“I’m right. You guys are wrong.”

“Do what I say and you will prosper and go to heaven. Don’t do what I say and you will suffer and go to hell.”

“I know what I’m talking about. Everyone else doesn’t.”

In a way, religions have done a better job at alienating others then they have in including people.

People have been persecuted based on religious beliefs. Wars have been justified because of religion. Families have been separated because of religious beliefs.

I’m not saying religion is bad.

All I’m saying when you look back at the history of religion, you can’t help but wonder “Where is the love?”

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What people don’t realize is that Right/Wrong thinking is responsible crimes, wars, and injustice in the world.

The Vietnamese Communists believed that they are right and that everyone is wrong. They are not open to the fact that perhaps communism isn’t good for the whole country. They won’t consider what the majority want, but only what the select few are interested in. They are closed off and nothing is up for debate.

Hitler firmly believed that he was right and everyone was wrong. He persecuted all Jews. Took over neighboring nations. Established concentration camps that de-humanized men, women, girls, and boys. It took the whole world to intervene with physical force to set Hitler in his place.

Evil happens when people always think they are right and no one every challenges them. Discussion is closed. There is only one way. Many have to suffer in order for a few to prosper.

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Good happens when people are humble enough to admit that they may be wrong and they are constantly being challenged by others. Discussions are open. There can be many ways to do it and you have the option to chose the best one. Everybody works hard, but everyone also benefits.

Since right/wrong can change from moment to moment, why put so much time, energy, and effort in who is right/wrong.

If I admit that I was wrong for stealing, I allow change to happen. I admit my fault and welcome discussion on how we all can contribute to my success.

If I keep on coming up w/ excuses on why its ok to steal. Sooner or later my past catches up to me. I get into deep trouble that may be impossible to right.

Its ok to be right. Its also ok to be wrong.

Let’s just not get too obsessed about it that we become closed to what the world is trying to tell us.