What You Do With Money Reveals Who You Are

Me and my cousin TA were diving into various monetary topics such as tipping, spending habits, and power control issues during my birthday outing.  We briefly touched on the topic what you do with money reveals who you are.  I had some more alone time and this is what I came up with.

1. For people who work, money serves as a counter of how much time, energy, and other sacrifices they you have accumulated in the past.  Money is usually used to fulfill their needs.

2. For some workers, work is meaningful and therefore money serves as a bonus to what they inherently enjoy doing.  There are doctors out there who enjoy helping others so much that they would still stick with the profession, even if their salary is halved.  They are in it because of the meaningful work, money is secondary.  Of course, there are those who would change profession if they knew they would only be making half.

3. For others, where passion is absent from work, money serves as an investment into a better or different future.  People who work meaningless hours at the local gas station, in hopes of saving up and one day starting their own restaurant belong to this category.  They put up with things they don’t enjoy now, so one day they can be able to do what they enjoy.

4. Some people put up with work so others around them can reap the benefits of having stable income to support their lives.  Most parents who start out with nothing, don’t have a choice in what they want to do.  They put up with doing dirty, physically straining, low-paying jobs that no one else wants.  All the time they wasted on doing something they don’t enjoy is actually an investment into the future of their own kids.

5. People who gamble have the belief that they can multiply the amount of money they have.  No one walks into a casino thinking that they will probably lose all the cash they brought.  There is even the chance that they will lose even more than what they intended to gamble with.  For one person to walk as a winner, there will probably be multiple others that must walk out as the loser.  Everyone wants to be the winner, yet the number of people who lose always outnumbers the number of people who lose.  For some reason, they are unconscious to this.

6. People who are handed money, don’t see meaning in the things they buy.  With someone else’s money, they can buy anything they want.  Anything they want is easily thrown away because it was so easily attained.  There is no need to cherish or be grateful for something that they gave up nothing for.  If they lose something, they can always buy another one without putting out anything.  They only need to put out their hand and a rich mom or dad will provide more money.

7. People who take other’s money, are extremely short-sighted.  They only see what they could do with that money.  When you take someone else’s money, its like unleashing a demon that will haunt you.  People will investigate, they will become suspicious of you, they will want to know the truth.  They will be relentless, they will demand justice, and they will raise their guard.  They won’t forget.  If you take money and it becomes public knowledge, you have essentially closed all doors to a bright future.

8. People who borrow another’s money and return it, are opportunists.  They see borrowing money as an opportunity to help them out of a rut.  They see it as an opportunity to take advantage of a prosperous business endeavor.  Regardless, of whether the borrowed money serves it’s purpose or not, returning it strengthens the relationship between you and the lender.  Whether it be a bank or a rich relative, when you own up to what you say, you build credit for the future.  A friend is more likely to let you borrow $1,000 down the road, when in the past you have been good on repaying the $500 you owed them.

9. People who borrow another’s money and don’t return it, are slowly burning down all the bridges in their life.  Every single time you borrow someone’s money and don’t return it, you have closed off that person from your life.  You don’t want to see them, because you don’t have any money to pay them back.  Every time you do see each other, it’s the one thing that will be on top of everyone’s mind.  Conversations may start on any topic, but it will always end on “where’s the money you promised to pay back?”  Your relationship has been put on hold until you can pay them back.  No meaningful conversations, life experiences, or memories will be created between you two until you have fulfilled your promise.

10. People who lend out money to help others, transforms the lending process into a charitable act.  They realize that their money does more good in the hands of others as opposed to having the money just sit there in the bank.  They enjoy lives of plenty and prosperity, and wish the same outcome to all those around them.  They hope that with some extra cash, you can start walking down the path of your own dreams.

Right Vs Wrong

Everybody who is anybody believes that they are right.

And in order for them to be right, somebody has to be wrong.

It’s a given. Two sides of every coin.

Most of us can’t argue w/ facts, so anyone who knows their facts is on pretty solid ground.

But facts can change too.

People once believed the world is flat. Well it’s not flat, it’s round.
People once believed that atoms are solid. Atoms are mostly made out of empty space.
People once believed that space travel is impossible. Now space travel is very possible.

Our world is always changing. What we hold true and to be non-debatable fact one day has the potential to be something different another day.

That is life.

So what’s the point of trying so hard to be right?

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Right/Wrong thinking encourages everyone to be close minded.

“I’m right, you’re wrong. No more discussion.”

“There is only one way to do this and only I have the key.”

“You have to choose between yes/no. There is no in between.”

To be right all the time takes enormous energy and your constantly under pressure. You can’t relax or you might falter and make a mistake.

What’s so wrong with being wrong from time to time?

It proves that you are human.

Being right all the times means you are perfect.

Perfection is no fun, when its all the time.

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Sometimes people are so stuck on being right that it ruins their relationship.

People are so obsessed on being so right, that they would rather lose out on a relationship.

“I don’t care if you want to leave me. You know that I’m right on this argument.”

To them being right is more important than maintaining the relationship.

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Religions are famous for Right/Wrong thinking.

“I’m right. You guys are wrong.”

“Do what I say and you will prosper and go to heaven. Don’t do what I say and you will suffer and go to hell.”

“I know what I’m talking about. Everyone else doesn’t.”

In a way, religions have done a better job at alienating others then they have in including people.

People have been persecuted based on religious beliefs. Wars have been justified because of religion. Families have been separated because of religious beliefs.

I’m not saying religion is bad.

All I’m saying when you look back at the history of religion, you can’t help but wonder “Where is the love?”

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What people don’t realize is that Right/Wrong thinking is responsible crimes, wars, and injustice in the world.

The Vietnamese Communists believed that they are right and that everyone is wrong. They are not open to the fact that perhaps communism isn’t good for the whole country. They won’t consider what the majority want, but only what the select few are interested in. They are closed off and nothing is up for debate.

Hitler firmly believed that he was right and everyone was wrong. He persecuted all Jews. Took over neighboring nations. Established concentration camps that de-humanized men, women, girls, and boys. It took the whole world to intervene with physical force to set Hitler in his place.

Evil happens when people always think they are right and no one every challenges them. Discussion is closed. There is only one way. Many have to suffer in order for a few to prosper.

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Good happens when people are humble enough to admit that they may be wrong and they are constantly being challenged by others. Discussions are open. There can be many ways to do it and you have the option to chose the best one. Everybody works hard, but everyone also benefits.

Since right/wrong can change from moment to moment, why put so much time, energy, and effort in who is right/wrong.

If I admit that I was wrong for stealing, I allow change to happen. I admit my fault and welcome discussion on how we all can contribute to my success.

If I keep on coming up w/ excuses on why its ok to steal. Sooner or later my past catches up to me. I get into deep trouble that may be impossible to right.

Its ok to be right. Its also ok to be wrong.

Let’s just not get too obsessed about it that we become closed to what the world is trying to tell us.

Hereditary Habits

Besides passing along certain genes to you as a parent, they also pass on habits to you. This is done easily because as a child you grow up looking up to your parents.  For most of your life, they are the only model you have to base your own actions and reactions by.

This is both good and bad, because as a parent they would love for you to pickup on everything they do positively.  At the same time, they would love for you not to pick up on everything they do negatively.  The interesting thing is they can’t program you to do only one.

As much as your parents would love to assume that you didn’t hear them cuss during the traffic jam.  Or see you lie to your spouse about how much you spent at the store today.  You, as a child see all of this, and in one way or another it gets programmed into your mind.

You absorb it all, both good and bad habits.  Many people just accept the fact that they have all these traits which most likely came from being around their parents.  While others absolutely hate it and will even go to the opposite extreme of the habit.

For example, let’s say your mom is a hoarder.  She hoards everything from clothes, to food, to plastic containers and even old electronic devices.  You grow up with absolutely no space for your own and nothing but antique electronics that no one in their right mind would want.

You develop a mindset that is the complete opposite of your mom.  “Why do I need so many things and why can’t I be happy with nothing.”  “I never want to grow up being like my mom.”

Suddenly you start to categorize yourself as a minimalist.  You don’t need anything.  Just the bare essentials.

And you start shunning anyone who you deem to possess hoarding traits.  “I grew up with a hoarding mom my whole life and was miserable because of it.  I’m not going to re-live that nightmare with you.”

You expect the whole world to embrace this new you.  Who is actually created from the interacting with your mother your whole life.  The new you is based on the opposite of who your mother is.

In general, pertaining to our parent’s habits, we will do one of three things:

1. Accept them as who we are and just let their habits be our habits.
2. Not accept them, push them away, hate it, and even go to the opposite extreme of the habit.
3. Become oblivious to it and not even notice it having an effect on us.  For some it may still have an effect, despite their lack of knowledge of the habits.

Personally, I recommend none of these options.  My recommendation is trying to find a happy medium between who your parents’ habits and the extreme opposite of the habit.

Being a hoarder does has it’s positive.  Why else would your mother do it?  People actually recommend buying products in bulk, storing them at home, and using them as needed.

Buying in bulk saves you money because they are usually priced cheaper then individual packaged items.  Buying in bulk also saves you time and gas from all the visits you would’ve made to the store had you gotten the items in individual packages.

At the same time, being a minimalist also has benefits to it too.  You never buy things that end up in your closet or garage like the newest exercise machine that promises to make you look like a super model.  Money and space is saved.

The goal is to embrace both sides and learn when is the best time to apply each habit.  Living on a budget, it’s not wise to buy things cheap, hoard them at home, and never use them.  At the same time, as a business owner you can’t expect revenue to come in when you’re not willing to spend money on marketing and re-modeling.

There is a reason and a season for everything in life.  It is up to you to make the best out of what is given to you.  And what is given to most of us is hereditary habits.