From Nominee To Finalist

A couple of weeks ago, I posted on Facebook that I got nominated for a Small Business award for the annual Greater Dallas Asian American Chamber of Commerce Awards Gala 2013.

A part of me was surprised, because as a business owner, I didn’t really feel like my business was anywhere near outstanding.  I was barely making it when it came to profits and growth.

Yes, I provided my business services (event photography) to different non-profit organizations whenever I can, but no way is my photography business successful compared to all the other Small Businesses out there.

Another part of me was grateful.  For whatever reason, the people around me have been recognizing the work I have been doing.  In particular, one of the officers of the non-profit organization NAAAP-DFW Janet had nominated me for the award.  There’s no better feeling than to have a peer recognize the work you’ve been doing through an award nomination.

I filled out the questionnaire and sent in my resume to the committee.  I didn’t feel really solid after answering the questionnaire.  When your overall answer to most of the questions start with “that doesn’t really apply to me”, there is little confidence gained in your chance of making it.

I just told myself, “Hey, you should be happy you even got nominated in the first place.  So many other people who work harder than you didn’t even get a chance for nomination.  You’ve already got plenty.  Appreciate what you already have.”

A couple of weeks fly by and I receive an email saying that I’m one of the Finalists for the award.

My first reaction was disbelief, because I wasn’t sure how I got to this point.  Then a sudden burst of adrenaline came next, with the acceptance that I really am one of the Finalist.  Even though I still haven’t won the award, for some odd reason I already felt like a winner.

And now I’m sitting here just reflecting on everything that happened so far that got me to this point:

1. Last year around this time of the year, I actually attended the previous GDAACC Award Gala 2012.  I wasn’t invited as a guest though.  I was actually covering the event as a second shooter with my friend.  It was my job to get pics of all the award winners.  Funny how one year can change your circumstances so much.  I went from covering the event as a photographer to becoming part of the event as an award finalist.
2. When you look around at all the successful photographers, you will notice everyone specializes in something.  You will find photographers who are great with weddings, fashion, sports, nature, architecture … etc.  I’ve always wondered what my niche would be.  I think I’ve finally found it.  I will be known as the photographer who does non-profit events.
3. Then I take a step back and think to myself, who in their right mind aspires to be a non-profit photographer?  It didn’t make sense to me at first until I reflected on my past.  For as long I can remember, I have always volunteered with the youth group at my Vietnamese Catholic Church.  My focus back then was giving to the Vietnamese Catholic community.  Now my focus has broadened to giving to the Asian Business Community.
4. I made one other connection with my past.  Specifically my passion.  In the past I was passionate in volunteering my time to my youth group.  For the past 2 years, I have been really passionate about photographer.  Without even realizing it, for the past year I have been merging both my past and present passion into what I have right now:  non-profit photography.
5. Everything has come full circle.  What I mean is I started out as going to the award gala 2012, come 2013, I’m going to the award gala again.  Or with community involvement, I did it for a good 10-15 years with local church, took a 3-4 year break, and now I’m helping out again with the Asian Business community.  My life is filled with things coming full circle.  I’m just grateful that each time I’ve come full circle, I’m somehow in a better place even though the place still looks the same.

Resume I Sent To Award Committee:  https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2PUVKTY6jFGZFc2Q0wyZWtTMm8/edit?usp=sharing

Questionnaire I Sent To Award Committee:  https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2PUVKTY6jFGVUtnSVZMbUgwN2c/edit?usp=sharing

Award Finalist Email From Award Committee:  https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2PUVKTY6jFGQ3NqYjktUi1TcEU/edit?usp=sharing

FB Status Update: Early Easter Surprise

Every Easter, I always notice the plastic eggs with treats inside of them.

I think it’s supposed to remind us of new life and how Jesus overcame death.

Perhaps, opening the plastic eggs alludes to how they opened the cave to Jesus’ tomb.

Well, today I received a really early easter surprise.

Don’t know what I ate, but I felt nature calling to me while I was waiting for Hoang at church.

Nature was yelling blatantly to me, “NUMBER TWOOOOO! NOWWW.”

Rushed into the men’s restroom and saw three stalls.

Naturally I’m not picky when I’m in a rush, because beggars can’t be choosers right?

The first two stalls were same size, but the last one was two times bigger.

You may not realize this, but spaciousness counts a lot in these type of situations.

With all the splashing and dunking that goes on, you want plenty of room to maneuver yourself around.

Don’t want to get yourself mixed up in the cross-fire.

Plus, a larger stall equals a larger air space which ultimately means better circulation.

Last time I checked, oxygen is pretty high on our basic human needs list.

So naturally, I skipped the first two stalls and reached for the third stall.

As, I closed into the third stall, I noticed the door was slightly open.

Thinking to myself, “This is so perfect. Door slightly open. Gotta be empty. Hopefully, the guy before me flushed and cleaned after himself. If so, I can make a smooth landing and unload all my cargo.”

I push the door open and hear someone say: “This stall’s occupied!”

I look up and see an old man, pants down, with hand over the restricted area.

A couple of thoughts just bounced crazily in my head:

“My virgin eyes! Why this? Why now?”

“Doesn’t this man know how to use the lock on the door?”

“Is there a dead animal in here?”

Realizing, I’ve been staring at him too long.

I say, “Ohhh sorry” and leave.

I contemplate going into the smaller stall, but find my brain still imprinted with the image of the old man on the toilet with his pants down.

Conflicted over the thought: “Argh! This is too awkward. I can’t be in the same restroom as this man. It feels so un-natural.”

I make a mad dash to the nearest restroom and do what I gotta do … in peace.

Later on, I realized that, “Hey! That experience represents Easter for me. Kids open a plastic egg and get a surprise. I open a stall door and get a surprise.”

But in my case, I really wished my egg was empty.

#SoWrongOnSoManyDifferentLevels
#NotAllSurprisesArePleasant
#MyVirginEyesAreTainted
#BeggarsCantBeChoosers
#PerhapsGodIsTellingMeSomething

Blame It On Straight People

Gay Marriage Vs Divorce

Original Post:  http://imgur.com/7vOQBPt

Dissecting Gospel “Mk 10: 17-22”

Mk 10: 17-22

As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up,
knelt down before him, and asked him,
“Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
Jesus answered him, “Why do you call me good?
No one is good but God alone.
You know the commandments: You shall not kill;
you shall not commit adultery;
you shall not steal;
you shall not bear false witness;
you shall not defraud;
honor your father and your mother.”
He replied and said to him,
“Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth.”
Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him,
“You are lacking in one thing.
Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor
and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”
At that statement his face fell,
and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.”

From this Gospel, I can gather that Jesus puts value not into observing God’s commandments but also how attached we are to our possessions.

Jesus doesn’t care if you are rich are poor, because both rich and poor people can be attached to their possessions.

Having said that, I’m sure it is easier for a poor person to give up something than a rich person. Poor people live in an environment where they lack many things already. Giving up one more item isn’t going to hurt them.

Rich people on the other hand may go through life working hard for certain things such as house, car, and clothes. If they were asked to give it all up, I would think they’d have to take a longer time considering all that they have to give up.

Jesus, doesn’t concern himself with rich or poor people, because he understands we all get attached to things.

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Is money bad?

He doesn’t ask the man, “How much money is in your bank account?”

Money isn’t bad. It’s our attachment to money that makes us forgot about what’s truly important in ones life. Sometimes our attachment is so overwhelming that we try to attain it at all cost. Even if it means stealing or depriving others of what’s rightfully theirs.

Jesus could’ve told a poor man the exact same thing, “Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor
and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”

The man could be poor and if he had one prized possession he couldn’t give up, perhaps a family heirloom, the poor man’s response would’ve been exactly the same as the rich man’s response.

What you have right now isn’t important.

What’s important to Jesus is how attached you are to those things.

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Why does Jesus put attachment as one of the things you need to overcome in order to reach Heaven?

He knows that as long as we are attached to earthly possessions, they will always come in the way when we try to be happy.

People have fought and killed over Air Jordans.

Wars have been started over who has the rights to a piece of land.

Family have been divided arguing over inheritance they believe to be rightfully theirs.

Jesus knows that all earthly things are perishable.

They come, they go.

They are built and eventually they erode, diminish, or break.

Nothing we possess lasts for eternity.

Therefore, why place so much of your attention, love, and time onto something that’s a lost cause?

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“How do we know if we are attached to something?”

I recently read a book called the “New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle.

He say’s the best way to see if you are attached to something is to pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, the moment one of your possessions is damaged or lost.

For example, whenever you hear that a car got broke into at Walmart. Perhaps you are thinking, “Oh wow, Wal-mart is such a dangerous place. I should be careful. ” Emotionally, there is no investment at all. You just move on right after.

But if that car happens to be yours, perhaps your thinking and emotions will be quite different. “I can’t believe someone would do that. What has this world come to? Why aren’t police officers there when you need them? I need to file a complaint to Walmart, they need security cameras out here. Who else can I blame here for my bad situation? I feel like a victim. I’m not sure I can ever park my car in the public ever again. And I just got this car last month! Why do bad things always happen to me?” And they could go on and on with this. Putting it on facebook. Sharing their frustration with everyone they meet. They go on a personal campaign with the message “the world is really messed up.”

Surprisingly there are people out there who after having their car broke in, you don’t even know it until by some accident it is revealed to you. Perhaps it came up during a conversation of why there are dents on the side of your car. These people deal with what happen. Learn from what happen. And then move on. Emotionally they are somewhat scared and frustrated, but they quickly deal with the situation and then move on with life. They don’t let the incident take over their life.

Attachment to an item can be measured by how much and how long you brood over one of your possessions being damaged or lost.

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“Why do we get attached to things and why is it so hard to get unattached?”

When we get attached to something, all it really means is we’ve become identified with it.

It’s mine.

That’s my ipod. That’s my car. That’s my shoes.

And whenever an ipod gets damaged, it feels like a part of us has been damaged.

In a way, the possession has become a part of who you are and what you represent.

We have invested a part of ourself, a part of our identity, into that product.

So when that product gets stolen, we feel empty inside because a part of us has just been lost.

When someone puts down our car, we feel like we have to defend our car. Them criticizing our car is similar to them criticizing us. Even though our car has no feelings and would run just fine after being put down. We feel the need to speak up because our feelings have been hurt and we would not run fine after having to put up with their rude remarks.

Our society is obsessed with having and wanting. All we want to do is possess, possess, and possess even more. Attachment has been ingrained into our culture.

Of course, there are some who are more attached to things than others. And even more rare, you’ll find people who aren’t attached to anything at all.

Regardless of where you stand on your degree of attachment, less attachment is always going to bring you more peace, joy, and love.

It’s what Jesus was trying to say in today’s Gospel.

Most Valuable Substance on Earth

The most valuable substance can’t be seen, touched, tasted, smelled, or heard.

Its what everyone has, but no one ever has enough of it.

It’s everywhere you go, yet no where to be found.

It grows in value, only if you learn how to appreciate it.

What could it possibly be?

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The most valuable substance on earth is space.

When you buy a house, you are really buying space.

Would you want a house that is already occupied? No, why would I want a house where strangers are in my space.

Would you want a house that doesn’t have a kitchen? No, I need space to cook for my children.

A house is appealing only as long as it serves its function, which is to provide empty space for you to live comfortably.

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When you buy a glass cup, you are solely interested in the space inside.

The space inside the cup is what makes it functional.

Would anyone ever buy a cup that is solid glass? I’m buying the cup to drink from, but if it’s solid how can the piece of glass hold the water now?

Glass cups are useful only if it is hollow. The material the cup is made out of is inconsequential.

As long as the cup has space to contain fluids, it can be made out of steel, plastic, or paper.

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Every year, millions of dollars are invested into Superbowl ads. But what really is being bought is space.

All of America is tuned into this channel, therefore I will sell you this slot of 30 secs for 56 million dollars.

You can fill that space with anything you think will gain the attention of your viewers. You need to come up with even more money to create something catchy.

Would anyone every buy a slot in the program, if it’s already filled? No, why would I buy a space that already has someone else’s commercial in it.

I put millions on the table, solely so I have that space in the programming to myself. I want that space to be empty, so I can fill it with what I want.

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When it comes down to personal space, this is where many of us get stuck.

We don’t know how to manage our own personal space.

We don’t know how to create our own space.

The problem with most of is we don’t have any space at all.

Yet space is the most important thing in our possession.

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When our space is filled with events and tasks, we quickly run out of time.

The only way to create space in our schedule is to say no.

We can’t be everywhere doing everything, so we have to say no.

Saying no, frees up our schedule and slowly restores space.

Say no enough times and suddenly you have your life back.

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Most of us aspire to do great things, but where we fall short is we don’t make space for those things to happen.

If you want to pursue your passion of singing, you won’t get very far if you don’t make space for it.

Many people try to squeeze their new goal or new dreams into their already existing busy life.

They expect to keep all that they have now in addition to what may come through the realization of their dream.

The materialization of a goal requires space in your schedule for it to happen.

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Stress is caused by our brains constantly being bombarded by thoughts.

“I hate work. Why did she lie to me? How am I going to pay my bills? Why is this lady buying so much stuff?’

Relaxation methods involves creating space in the mind.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Meditate. Yoga. Tai Chi. Praying. Chanting.

All these exercises are meant to empty the mind of distracting thoughts which results in more space within your mind.

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At the end of most people’s lives, they regret not having more time to spend with family and friends.

What they are running out is space.

The space in their timeline is quickly coming to end.

If only they could have some more space to spend it with their loved ones.

If they could, they would go back and try to dedicate more space for friends and family.

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The most valuable substance can’t be seen, touched, tasted, smelled, or heard.

Its what everyone has, but no one ever has enough of it.

It’s everywhere you go, yet no where to be found.

It grows in value, only if you learn how to appreciate it.

The most valuable substance on earth is space.

The Bystander, The Consumer, & The Creator

In a book by Deepak Chopra, I remember reading the author explaining the 3 ways of experiencing life. You either experience life as a bystander, consumer, or creator.

For example, the sun rises every morning.

For most of us, we don’t even care about it. We have a billion other things on our plate. We’ve witnessed the sun rising millions of times. Today is no different.

For others who do care, they set about 30 mins once in a while to take in the view of a new day unfolding. There is something magical about seeing something so grand, warm, and beautiful rise out of the sky everyday.

For a select few, out there the sight of the sun provides an inspiration for something we are doing. We take in the beautiful sight of the sun and that pushes us to use the sun for our new company logo.

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Life is amazing but most of us spend it as a bystander. We simply are too busy to appreciate all the simple things in life. There is not much in life for us. Life becomes boring and stressful as a bystander.

From time to time, we may stop to smell of fresh flowers or call up an old friend to catch up. Now we are simply consuming what life has to give. We learn that it feels good to take. Life becomes good and cheery.

Finally, there are moments in our life where we are inspired or motivated by the world. We seek expression through our work or hobbies. We learn that it feels even better to give back. Life becomes purposeful and fulfilling.

There is a cycle in life. Things exist and happen. We can ignore it and leave it alone. Or we can open ourselves up and embrace it. You can then take what you have received and find a way to express it to the world. It can be a meal, a blog, a song, a dance, or a letter.

Once you have created something, you now give others the opportunity to consume something new in the world. From something that has already been created, you have found a way to create something completely new for the world to admire. The have completed the cycle of life.

Baking Up The Sermons

My cousin and me recently made a visit to Costco.

We were casually going through the aisles until we hit the pastry section.

Immediately, we were mesmerized by the smell of fresh baked goods.

We were kids in a candy store, wanting to take everything home.

We settled on a mixed batch of cookies consisting of chocolate chips, macadamia nuts, and oatmeal raisins.

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After putting the batch into our cart, my cousin made the following the comment:

“Its so difficult to find the motivation to bake cookies, when it’s so easily accessible through Costco.”

I wasn’t sure where she was coming from, so I asked her to elaborate.

“Well for me it’s so much trouble to go buy the materials, prepare it, and then wait for it to be ready”.

“Sometimes I go through all that trouble and my batch isn’t even good as the ones at Costco.”

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My cousin had a point.

Why go through all that trouble, when you don’t have to right?

Most of the people that I know, don’t have enough time to do all the things they want to do.

Why waste time when you already don’t have enough time?

Life is about prioritizing what’s important and sometimes baking doesn’t always make it to the top of the list.

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The only reasons I can think of, in which a person actually prefers baking cookies over buying them is:

1. Their batch is superior in taste and quality compared to the bought ones.

2. Their batch is considerable cheaper when you factor in time and materials invested.

3. They aren’t in it for superior quality or saving money, but rather they just enjoy the process of baking.

Intrinsically, you have to derive some type of benefit or else why would you choose the harder route?

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This weekend I talked briefly with a friend I haven’t seen for a very long time.

She told me she recently transitioned from finance to going to school at Le Cordon Bleu.

I never asked her why she wanted to be a pastry chef, but I can see the above reasons applying to her.

Reason #1 applies to her because you got to have self-confidence in your creations and believe that they are of the highest quality.

Reason #3 applies to her because it’s impossible to make a career out of baking if you can’t enjoy yourself in the kitchen.

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People ask me all the time, “Why don’t you go to the church anymore?”

I never really knew the real answer, so I made something up:

“The Catholic Church has too many rules and regulations.”

“I don’t get anything from going to mass anymore.”

“I look around at all the people in church who pretend to be holy and I lose faith.”

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In the end, all those answers were insufficient because I felt like taking them back the moment I said them.

The truth is, the Catholic Church is good.

I do get something from going to mass.

Others only affect my faith, because I let them.

But still, I haven’t found a reason for my lack of motivation to attend weekly mass.

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That is until now.

I stopped going to church because I wanted more than what was being offered to me at church.

For me, the most important of part of mass is the sermon.

It’s the one part that personally bridges my life to the life of Jesus Christ and all that happened before and after his life.

Everything else is simply ritual repetition with small deviations depending on where we are at in the Catholic liturgical year.

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For close to 30 years of my religious life, I was like my cousin who finds it easier to buy cookies then to make them.

She goes to Costco, she finds her cookies, she eats it, and moves on with her life.

I go to Church, I get my sermon, I think about it, and then I move on with my life.

Every Sunday for 30 years, I have gone through this same routine.

I realized this same routine was cutting it for me anymore.

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I took myself out of the church, because I realized that I depended on the church so much I felt like I was spiritually complacent.

I grew spiritually complacent because I knew that my Pastor will feed my soul every Sunday.

I was so busy with everything else in life that I didn’t even try to make more time for my soul than the bare minimum.

The bare minimum for any practicing Catholic is a 1 hour devotion to God every Sunday.

Because the church only required 1 hour of my life, that’s all I gave to God.

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But removing myself from church didn’t exactly help me spiritually.

What has helped me spiritually after leaving the church, is learning how to bake just like my friend.

Instead of going to costco and buying cookies, she “bakes up” her own batch of cookies.

For me, instead of going to church and receiving the sermon, I “bake up” my own sermons.

I found the process of “baking up” my own sermons more rewarding than just receiving the sermon at church.

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When a pastor “bakes up” a sermon, he sits down and reads the bible.

He asks himself, “How can I make this bible passage relevant to my audience?”

He does research and tries to come up with some stories, jokes, and props to engage the audience.

He brainstorms, makes multiple drafts, and might ask others to critique his work.

When he believes it is good enough, he delivers it on Sunday.

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I go through a similar process and once I’m done, I usually put my findings in a blog.

In fact, all my personal sermons that I have ever “baked up” go directly into this blog.

I do this not because of reason #1 (I believe my sermons are way better than the pastor.)

Nor do I believe that I fit under scenario #2 (I probably invest way more time than a pastor does. He’s definitely more efficient than me.)

I do this because of reason #3 (I simply enjoy the process of “baking up” my own sermons every week.)

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For me the “baking-up” a sermon process is a spiritual process.

It encourages me to be proactive in my spirituality instead of waiting to be “fed” by the pastor every Sunday.

True, I may spend way more time coming up with these sermons when compared to the pastor’s preparation time.

But my priority is spirituality, so the fact that I spend so much time preparing, is actually a benefit not a drawback.

I’m not wasting time, I’m actually investing it.

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Before, I might’ve told myself to just get the hour of mass over so I can do what I really want to do.

Now, I might spend 1, 3, or 5 hours on my own sermon until I’m satisfied with the result.

This may only apply to me, but I definitely enjoy the process of “baking-up” my own sermons because I am more involved.

I could always revert back to going to church and receive the pastor’s sermon weekly, that would be so easy.

The only reason why I persist down the hard road is because I just find it way more rewarding when I’m the one baking up the sermons.

Focus = Growth

People say whatever you pay attention to it grows.

For example, if you focus your attention on the negative things in your life, more likely than not you will encounter more and more negative things in life.

Poor people get into worser debts and liars keep on lying to cover up their lies.

The opposite holds true for people who are positive.

People with tons of friends have no trouble making more friends and people who rise to leadership roles have no trouble moving up wherever they go.

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It’s similar to the Bible passage Mt 13:12 that says, “For whoever has, it shall be given to him, and he shall in abundance.”

Its as if once you’ve trained your brain to do something, it naturally goes about doing it regardless of whether you are aware of it or not.

I recently saw this theory unfold while I was shooting on a set with John Bich Sy Vuong.

John is the owner and shooter at Blue Angel Photography.

He asked me to come along to help him with a family portrait shoot.

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As photographers, we love to setup the setting, lighting, and subjects to coincide with our vision.

Since the family portrait shoot consisted of a family of five (father, mother, 2 boys, and a girl) the photographer’s job is to pose this family of five in the most heartwarming way.

Normally, a shoot would typically last 3-4 hours, but ours lasted 6 hours

This was due to an unforeseen challenge that always pops up in every shoot.

Only this time, the unforeseen challenge happened to be a 4 year old.

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The boy wasn’t too happy at that moment.

He wanted to watch his cartoons or get on the computer to play his games.

He didn’t like the fact that we were in his home either, these two strangers with big photographic equipments.

The fact that all his family was looking at him disapprovingly, didn’t help his state of mind either.

So when we asked him to pose for us, he wasn’t going to oblige.

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First, it began with defiance.

He would run around, go find some food, and fidget during the whole shoot.

Then, when we forced him into a certain pose for the next shoot, he decided that he had enough and expressed his frustration the only way a 4 year old knows how.

He cried.

He cried and he cried and when he wasn’t crying, he made sure to communicate his displeasure with a sour face.

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His dad was extremely frustrated with his son.

He yelled, he threatened, and even tried bribery.

None of it worked.

Soon the dad was just as frustrated as his kid.

Great, now we have two unhappy family members.

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At that moment, John the main photographer stepped in to intervene.

Family members with sour looking faces don’t make good pictures.

Not to mention that his reputation is on the line.

Who would want to book a photographer who take pictures of family members with sour faces?

Anybody could do that, John got the job because he was known to be better than just anybody.

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John’s method of intervention was actually very creative.

Instead of allowing everyone’s frustration to escalate, he directed everyone’s attention to something else.

He started with the kid.

He gave the kid a little bell with stick.

He asked the kid to hit it as hard as he could.

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As the boy was enjoying his new toy, John asked everyone to applaud.

“Hey look at him, he knows how to play an instrument. That’s awesome!”

Everyone played along and started clapping, even the father.

In a matter of minutes, the atmosphere within the house changed from one of frustration to one of applaud.

With the boy’s focus on the bell, John gave it to me and asked me to move behind him while he was taking pictures.

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The boy kept on looking at the bell.

He wasn’t in a sour mood anymore.

He was anticipating the next time he could get his hands on the bell.

And just like that, John started shooting away.

After a couple of shots, he would ask me to give the bell to the boy to satisfy his curiosity and we were good to go again.

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John ended up getting all the pics he needed.

John turned the tides into his favor through the rule of “focus”.

Whatever you focus on, its gets bigger.

When the boy was in a sour mood, everyone started focusing on the boy’s bad behavior.

The father started yelling at him, threatening him.

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Everyone’s eyes were on him, waiting for him to get in place so they could be done with the shoot.

The boy already didn’t want to be there in the first place, but now that everyone unhappy with the him, it made him feel worst.

When you focus on the boy’s negative aspects, it makes him feel worse, and when he feels worse you can’t expect him to put on a smile.

He cries, he throws a fit, he sits in the corner feels bad about himself.

But look what happens when John started to ask everyone to focus on the positive.

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Give the boy a toy that he can play with and ask everyone to encourage the boy when he plays with it.

Clap for the boy, hug the boy, and praise the boy.

Do anything to make him feel that he is doing a good job.

The boy felt good about himself and he also felt everyone around him was happy with him.

It was much easier for the boy to put up a smile now that he is in a good mood.

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When you focus on the positive of what the boy can do, he feels positive.

When he feels good and we encourage the family to praise the boy, the boy feels good about everyone.

So now, whenever anyone ask him to do anything, he happily obliges.

When you focus on the negative, your attention feeds the negativity and it grows.

When you focus on the positive, your attention feeds the positivity and that grows.

Right Vs Wrong

Everybody who is anybody believes that they are right.

And in order for them to be right, somebody has to be wrong.

It’s a given. Two sides of every coin.

Most of us can’t argue w/ facts, so anyone who knows their facts is on pretty solid ground.

But facts can change too.

People once believed the world is flat. Well it’s not flat, it’s round.
People once believed that atoms are solid. Atoms are mostly made out of empty space.
People once believed that space travel is impossible. Now space travel is very possible.

Our world is always changing. What we hold true and to be non-debatable fact one day has the potential to be something different another day.

That is life.

So what’s the point of trying so hard to be right?

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Right/Wrong thinking encourages everyone to be close minded.

“I’m right, you’re wrong. No more discussion.”

“There is only one way to do this and only I have the key.”

“You have to choose between yes/no. There is no in between.”

To be right all the time takes enormous energy and your constantly under pressure. You can’t relax or you might falter and make a mistake.

What’s so wrong with being wrong from time to time?

It proves that you are human.

Being right all the times means you are perfect.

Perfection is no fun, when its all the time.

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Sometimes people are so stuck on being right that it ruins their relationship.

People are so obsessed on being so right, that they would rather lose out on a relationship.

“I don’t care if you want to leave me. You know that I’m right on this argument.”

To them being right is more important than maintaining the relationship.

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Religions are famous for Right/Wrong thinking.

“I’m right. You guys are wrong.”

“Do what I say and you will prosper and go to heaven. Don’t do what I say and you will suffer and go to hell.”

“I know what I’m talking about. Everyone else doesn’t.”

In a way, religions have done a better job at alienating others then they have in including people.

People have been persecuted based on religious beliefs. Wars have been justified because of religion. Families have been separated because of religious beliefs.

I’m not saying religion is bad.

All I’m saying when you look back at the history of religion, you can’t help but wonder “Where is the love?”

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What people don’t realize is that Right/Wrong thinking is responsible crimes, wars, and injustice in the world.

The Vietnamese Communists believed that they are right and that everyone is wrong. They are not open to the fact that perhaps communism isn’t good for the whole country. They won’t consider what the majority want, but only what the select few are interested in. They are closed off and nothing is up for debate.

Hitler firmly believed that he was right and everyone was wrong. He persecuted all Jews. Took over neighboring nations. Established concentration camps that de-humanized men, women, girls, and boys. It took the whole world to intervene with physical force to set Hitler in his place.

Evil happens when people always think they are right and no one every challenges them. Discussion is closed. There is only one way. Many have to suffer in order for a few to prosper.

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Good happens when people are humble enough to admit that they may be wrong and they are constantly being challenged by others. Discussions are open. There can be many ways to do it and you have the option to chose the best one. Everybody works hard, but everyone also benefits.

Since right/wrong can change from moment to moment, why put so much time, energy, and effort in who is right/wrong.

If I admit that I was wrong for stealing, I allow change to happen. I admit my fault and welcome discussion on how we all can contribute to my success.

If I keep on coming up w/ excuses on why its ok to steal. Sooner or later my past catches up to me. I get into deep trouble that may be impossible to right.

Its ok to be right. Its also ok to be wrong.

Let’s just not get too obsessed about it that we become closed to what the world is trying to tell us.